I love Xanga, but right now it just doesn't live up to my expectations. it did before, but for now I'm going to leave. I'll return once everything gets more structured, so don't unsubscribe please. I just can't enjoy it right now when it's nothing but a pathetic copy of WordPress at this moment. I don't believe it is going to be this awy forever, but for now that keeps me from wanting to blog on here. If you want to read my blog you can read it on wordpress, or my blogger. I'll leave the links below.

https://staryaofficial.wordpress.com/

www.liahna.com

Tonight my mom made orange rolls. I had fallen asleep watching Captainsparkle's (a youtube user) twitch.tv livestream and I guess she decided to make them while I was asleep. She used the leftover icing that was used to frost my cake in July. Some of you might think that using 2 month old icing is weird, but it was in the freezer and it was still good. I had actually woken up for a few minutes a couple of hours before this to eat dinner. We had creamed eggs over rice, it sounds weird but it's good. I didn't feel like staying awake after that, so I decided to go lie down again. I woke up to my mom asking me if I wanted my light out, this was around 10pm my time. I told her yes, but I ended up waking up anyway so I just turned it on again. It was after this that I found out about the roll, they were still in the oven at the time.

Today at school nothing really spectacular happened, I just went to English and History. In English we did a free write excersize about what we would change about the world if we could change one thing. I chose to write about how I would change people's perception of different disabilities and impairments. So many people are ignorant about this kind of thing it is scary. We also talked somewhat about rhetorical situations and prepped for this weekends assignment. In history we talked more about the time of the renaissance time period and abut the catholic church and other stuff. I am just getting started with this semester so I am not doing much right now so far as work goes. I know it is going to get more difficult, but I know I can do it.

I ate at Jamba Juice today again, I got a Mango Peach Topper, it is one of their parfaits. I ate it in History, I was so hungry. I had a donut as well in my instutute class, and a hot pocket. I have decided every wednesday I am going to allow myself to just eat whatever I want. I figure it will be alright as long as I keep walking a lot and doing yoga and stuff. I will be being careful other days of the week so i don't gain weight like crazy. I actually lost 20 pounds over the summer vacation due to my improved eating habits. I didn't get to

Sometimes I worry that I give people mixed messages when I use my cane. I like using it sometimes, but then there are those times when I hate it. You really wouldn't be able to tell the difference between when I use it and when I don't. I decided to take my glasses for a trial run today. I have never liked glasses, anyone that has read a lot of my blog entries knows this. I haven't changed my mind, I still hate them with a passion and will never start using them regularly. I am not sure if I am even going to bother with the cane now either, I guess I will take it day to day, right now it's a no go though. I don't like looking disabled, or impaired, so if I am still bothered by it a few weeks from now I'm just going to stop using it at school. There is no reason to stress myself out about it, and if people ask questions I will just explain it to them. I also kind of feel like a liar when I use it, like the whole thing is a lie. If I were a normal person I would undoubtedly use it, but I'm not and I'm capable of a lot more than other people with my vision are. Even my eye doctors and the people around me will tell you this is a fact. I know that it is perfectly normal for some people to use it off and on sometimes, but I'm not the kind of person that would be okay with doing that. I don't want to confuse anyone, so I'm not going to do something I don't like.

I think I am going to stop here and wait until tomorrow to write more. I'm feeling a bit tired today. I just wanted to get this out of the way so I can get to the more interesting stuff tomorrow.

Xanga is back, the timing of this is just perfect. I started school again last week. I am taking Word Civilization part two and Basic Writing 2 this semester. This last week hasn't been that eventful school wise anyway. I basically just got introduced to my classes, and got my textbooks. I have actually sent my textbooks to be converted to audio. I will still have the actual textbook when they are finished, but I will also have a copy I can listen to as well!

Actually a funny thing happened when I was going to give the Accessible technology office my text books. I was on my way to the school store to buy something so I could get cash back to use on the bus and I saw this lady that had a cane. I was carrying mine (raed below) and I said hi and she said her name was lisa and she was heading to the AT office as well. I told her that I would see her there after I get my money. Anyway so I did that and then went to the AT office and gave them my books. The guy that took my books needed my first and last name and I told him my last name and over to my left I hear Lisa say "No way that is my last name as well!". The funny thing about this s that my dad has a sister named Lisa. To make this even more funny My dads name is Robert, and guess what Lisa's husbands name is? That is right it is Robert. So My dad has a sister named Lisa, and this woman I met in the hallways earlier that is also named Lisa has a husband named Robert. Strange coincidences happen every day and this one was one of the funniest ones I have come across. Not to mention that she is also visually impaired and uses a cane (sometimes) like me. That was a fun trip to that office.

I have started taking the bus to school this semester. I really don't know why I didn't start this sooner. I feel like I have a lot more freedom now that I have a bus pass and can just go wherever I want to via bus. I accidentally missed a bus last week and was late for school. That is probably the only drawback I see so far. I have also noticed that a lot of the same people get off and go onto the bus, I have a feeling I'm going to be making a lot of bus buddies. I have already met some really interesting and sweet people. I love how the bus has more than one stop at school, so I don't have to walk from one end of the campus to another. I had to wait two days from Monday for my bus pass to activate, I just picked it up somewhere at school and just brought cash and quarters with me for those two days. I also used those two days as an excuse to buy stuff from the school ice cream store because that is how I got my cash. I think I might have an addiction to Chex Mix Muddy Buddies haha.

World Civ (history) is the same as last semester. The professor mostly just gives a lecture the whole entire class and the only homework we have is 1 paper, a project, and just the basic reading. I knw the drill pretty well now so I am sure I will do a lot better this time.  We started where we left off last semester, around the time of the renaissance times.

My English or Basic Writing 2 class hasn't been hard so far. We only have class 2 times a week and the rest is online. The first assignment this last week wasn't that hard, we just had to write a short about me paragraph in MLA format. I have to admit that I always get nervous with English at first. I think everything is going to be fine though as long as I keep up and do my best and don't over think. My english class and my History class are on opposite sides of the campus, I usually have to walk or run pretty fast from English to History every time.

I am also taking Christian history at the institute

I missed the school food during the break. I am going to cut down on eating at school, but it is nice every once in a while. My favorite places to go to are Jamba Juice, Pizza Hut, Subway, and Rockin Robbies. I probably go to Jamba Juice the most out of all of them. They are actually building a Taco Bell on campus right next to Jamba Juice. I am not sure if I am going to eat there or not, it depends on how good the food is, I think it depends on who is preparing it. I guess we will have to wait and see. I am probably going to pack a lunch most of the time, but I will undoubtedly frequent those places from time to time.

I have been taking my cane for a trial run this week. I think using it on campus is a great thing. I don't really use it anywhere else besides the bus. I feel like people have a right to know that I have bad vision and that is why I carry it, well that and it helps me with all the steps and stuff on campus. I don't have to use it, but for school it makes things easier. It's still a bit weird carrying it around sometimes just because I don't use it that often. I don't really use it for general mobility, it's more of a depth perception issue. I haven't gotten any negative reactions from anyone and I don't mind answering questions either. I have gotten a few questions from people at the bus stop this week.

I was sick for this whole last week. My whole family was sick actually, we all had colds. It wasn't anything particularly nasty though, just a stuffy and runny nose, a little cough because I had crud in my lungs. I felt kind of bad, but not horrible except for maybe the 2nd day. I made sure to take lots of vitamin C and eat stuff that had it as well. I took a lot of other vitamins as well to make sure my body had a lot of support. My immune system is pretty good and that just made it a whole lot better. I am pretty much over the cold, just have a little bit of coughing left, but not much. I am glad it went away fast because I would have hated to have to deal with it for a second week.

Everything has been going smoothly and the weather has been nice. I've been playing a lot of old computer games from the 90's lately. It's funny how even after 20 years I still love the games of my childhood. I have been playing games like Ken's labyrinth, Skyroads, Prince of Persia and some others. I have always been fond of DOS games and was really lucky to find a newer version of Ken's Labyrinth that words on my computer surprisingly enough. I am trying to make a Let's Play for that game  currently.

I have a lot more stuff to share with you guys, but for now this will do, no use rushing.

I have church early in the morning around 9:30am, so sometimes I don't feel like waking up. I usually just got to a different ward in one of the nearby church buildings by my house. My ward is a ways away close to the University I attend, so that is why I usually can't just walk. I attend a singles ward that is populated primarily by unmarried people around my age. The ward I attend when I miss this ward is actually the one I grew up in, it was my home ward up until a few years ago when they changed the boundaries of the wards and stuff. I don't really like going to my home ward because I started going to the singles ward before they changed it so it's super weird for me to go to my actual home ward because it is in a different building with different people. There are some people I know, but not as many as i would like.

I have been feeling weird and more distant with the singles ward as of late. I feel detached from everyone and like they don't even notice I'm there. I usually have to find a ride every Sunday if I go and this can sometimes be annoying. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bother to the people I get rides from. I don't really enjoy getting rides from people all that much, a lot of the time it is super awkward for me because I am not that social of a person. I am probably going to be leaving the ward in a few months depending on how I feel after I clear up a few things that are personal. After I clear up these personal things and get my life more straightened out I might change my mind, but for now I feel like leaving. I don't really like attending my home ward as I stated above, but sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to I guess. I don't know if I will adjust, but I hope I do.

I was attending church today in my substitute ward when I had to make a trip to the restroom. I was blowing my nose when I was in there and suddenly I see blood on the toilet paper. Naturally I had one of those "Oh crud" moments and immediately plugged my nose with some of that toilet paper. It was pretty bad, but it didn't last long to my surprise. I did manage to drip blood down my shirt when I was changing the toilet paper inside my nose though. Lucky for me I was wearing a black shirt though, so none of it showed. I always feel fatigued, panicky and drained after I have a nose bleed like that so I decided I was going to go home after sacrament meeting and not stay for all 3 hours. I made sure my face didn't have any blood on it before I left the restroom and sat down until sacrament meeting was over. It was a nice sunny morning here, so the walk back and borth was pretty pleasant. I will have to get pictures for you one of these days. I was glad when I got home though. I was sleepy and just wanted to take a nap.

I ate some pistachios and hung around the house seeing what everyone was doing. I watched an episode of "Kickin It" on my phone while I lied down and I fell asleep right after it and got a good 2 and a half hours of sleep. It felt like I slept longer, but I really didn't and I felt all recharged and ready to face the rest of the day when I woke up.

I really didn't do much after church to be honest, just played games on my phone and watched anime. I have been trying to catch up with the Detective Conan anime. I still have a long way to go seeing as the anime is in the 700's now and I'm only on episode 210 or something like that. I find the anime interesting and it is my favorite show though, so I don't mind at all. I'm really in no hurry to catch up at all. I enjoy taking mysteries in. Detective Conan is a murder mystery anime with a lot of characters, plots, twists and turns. I would recommend ti to anyone easily.

besides watching anime I listened to music and had beans and rice for dinner. My mom made it a bit different this time. She put more than one kind of beans in the post, tomatoes, celery and some other stuff and made it more like a soup. It was okay, it wasn't my favorite but I liked it enough to eat it. We usually make the same things over and over again over here, so I wasn't surprised we had this for dinner. Most of us are pretty busy so we aren't super fancy and we rarely ever eat together at all. I didn't really finish my dinner because I put to much in my bowl, but that was okay I guess.

My sister made a little bit of pudding afterward and I had that and a glass of English toffee flavored milk for dessert.

Anyway, that was my day today. I have a lot more to tell, but for now I will cut off here.

I am the kind of person that likes a lot of freedom and space to do my thing. I am the kind of person that would love living on my own and doing my own thing. This part of me sometimes causes me a lot of anxiety because right now I lack a lot of life skills that a lot of people have usually by my age. This fact has been causing me a lot of grief for a while, I don’t know how to get around on my own, or even do simple things like do my own laundry and my cooking skills are mediocre at best. Never in my dreams would I have guessed I would be thrown the unexpected curve ball I was thrown today at my appointment with my vocational rehab councilor.

When I left for her office I was just planning on telling her the price of my books, my tuition, what classes I’m taking so she could pay for my tuition, but I got something even better. Around May sometime next year I’m going to be given a chance to live in an apartment with another girl and there will be some other people as well living in different apartments nearby that will be learning lifeskills besides me and my roommate. They are going to teach me how to do stuff like get around on my own, cooking, doing laundry and probably a lot more things. All the people that are going to go through  this will have visual impairments as well. To say I was happy when I got this chance is an understatement. For a while I have been feeling like I really need to get out, like I need to be on my own and learn. I have been praying that God would help me get through my hard times. Today I had no doubt that this is an answer to my prayers. I know that it isn’t going to be easy, but I really need this and I know it is right. A lot of my family and people around me aren’t going to be able to see me for six months starting next May, but this is something I desperately need. I really give God credit for what happened today, I wasn’t expecting this at all. I not only get to do this, but my vocational rehab councilor is also getting me a bus pass that will last for a year. Words cannot even describe how good I am feeling right now. I finally get my wish and get to learn a lot of stuff I’ve been learning for a long time.

I could have chosen to go this year, but I want to get prepared a little more, get in better shape, get mentally prepared, etc. I also want to do two more semesters of college before I go through with this. God is good, and he knows just what I need, that is for sure.

I was supposed to see my vocational rehab councilor a week ago, but I missed the appointment twice. This was my third time making the appointment and I made it this time. I was worried for a few days that I wouldn’t get to go because I was waiting for my financial aid results and I had to take a math test and get the list of books and all this stuff. I had blanked out making the appointment earlier in the summer. I am glad I did it just in time. I am taking English and History and decided to skip out on math the last second because I’m sure I’ll get enough challenge.

I’ve been through a lot of stuff this summer and this year in general, but for now I just want to tell you about this. There will be plenty of time for stories of the past later. It is a beautiful day today and things are looking up and I feel so good now. With all the drama with friends and with the Xanga site relaunch I have been feeling a bit fried lately, but I am back to life now and ready for a new semester at school!

I’ll write more later. I have so much I haven’t said.

For those of you who are leaving Xanga and still want to read my blog or keep in contact with me somewhere else. Here is all my basic contact info. I will be staying here, but I also blog in other places.

Blogger blog: liahna.com  (I leave some stuff out of this one because my friends and family IRL read it and there are a few things I would rather leave out)

2nd Blogger Exact blog replica of this one. empathic-heart-xanga.blogspot.com/   No edits at all

WordPress blog  http://staryaofficial.wordpress.com/  Another exact replica of this blog.

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/starya

Secondary contact email for online friends and gaming friends: liahna@ymail.com

Secondary facebook for online and gaming friends: https://www.facebook.com/lilly.starya.wind

YouTube: Staryaofficial (gaming channel) & Starryillusion (main channel)

Deviantart: Kalystia

Tetrisfriends.com: Starya

I know I have been gone again, I decided to just let my posting drop off. It would be nice if we made the donation goal but at this point in time things are looking Grimm. This is just my way of keeping myself from feeling hurt if it does close. If it does you can easily find me by going to Liahna.com. I will be back for sure if it survives, but for now this will be my last post here. Before I go I want to share a secret with you guys.

I am bisexual. 75% for women, and 25% for men, or something close to that. A couple of years ago I came out as asexual on here when I was still accepting myself, but now I accept I am not, I am bisexual for sure. Now I know who I am. I realized I was bisexual when I was 12 but never really accepted it until just a while ago. It's a part of who I am, I've liked guys less than girls for a long time and I accept that now and I'm okay. I think this is a huge thing for me and wanted you guys to know who I am. I know I have talked about guys a lot, even have came to love a couple, but I've never really ever gotten a serious enough interest in one to want to be with one forever except for Ronnie of course. This is of course because while I do have an interest in men I just have an even bigger interest in women, so this is usually how things turn out for me. I will probably never get to date a girl because of where I live, and because my family would freak out, I am okay with dealing with what I have though. I am single and I'm okay with being single, it isn't that bad. The future is unpredictable of course as well though, so you never know what will happen! A couple of months ago I came out to my sister, she was so supportive, but she isn't LDS like the rest of my family. I would have no problem coming out to everyone, except for in the case of my family. They don't need to know in my opinion though.

This is one of the biggest secrets I have and I'm okay with telling you guys because you are awesome.

Hopefully this will not be our last goodbye. I will keep commenting and reading your stuff, but for now this will be my last post on here. Sorry if I don't fill you in on what I have been doing since my last post, I am going to do that on my other blog, but not for a few more days, trying to spend as much time with family and stuff while they are here as possible. The post I want to write would be long, and I just don't feel like it right now.

Love you guys and thanks for the memories and all your awesome posts!

Happy Tanabata (Star Festival) to my Japanese friends!

So yesterday I woke up around 5:30, I had been so tired the night before and just decided to give into my sleepiness around 8:30pm. I don't always do this, sometimes I just stay awake, but then sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep later because my school semester kind of messed up my sleep rhythm a little. I think it is getting to be normal again, but I'm having to take it one day at a time. The funny thing about what happened the night before last night is that I actually fell asleep with a towel on my head. I usually never do this, lucky for me I breefly woke up for a few minutes around midnight so I could take it off. My hair wasn't really messed up that much, I was glad. I went upstairs an hour after I woke up, my mom was slicing a pineapple and my add was getting ready for work and was frying some eggs. I decided that while the pan was still hot I might as well make a couple too. My mom asked me if my brother could have my eggs because he was in a hurry and hadn't eaten anything. I didn't mind, but it turned out he didn't want them, and I had actually added a third egg, so I decided to make an egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast. So I had that and some of the pineapple for breakfast, it was pretty good.

Our roses have finally bloomed, they have been a little late the past couple of years because of the weird cold weather we have been having around the time they usually bloom. Every year in the past we usually brought some of the roses to family members graves on Memorial Day, but we have had to cut down on that because of the weird weather. I will get new photos of the roses soon to show everyone here.

So I've been trying to decide what I am going to do about my second blog site in case Xanga really closes. i have actually come across this upcoming new blog platform that looks interesting. It is called "Ghost" (tryghost.org) and it looks pretty unique. We will see what happens in the future with that. if that doesn't work out I might move this blog to typepad or something like that. I would do WordPress, but the storage and stuff is so expensive there. I wish I could just put everything into my blog on blogger, but there are certain things I can say here that I can't mention on there because my IRL friends and family read that one. I'd go crazy if i didn't have this blog, I feel like I an say anything I want to here without having to worry about people's comments or opinions weighing me down and trying to get on my case. I do have pretty much the same posts i put on here on there, only I edit out certain things. I have been working on getting all the edited versions of my posts here over there. Usually I don't have to edit anything out when i move posts over to blogger, but on occasion I'll find something. One of these things i edit out over there is anything about Ronnie, I know my family would have a cow if they knew about him. I'm saving that for when I actually have him here in person because they won't be able to complain so much about it.

Red and white were the colors of my friend's wedding reception. Over here we are usually all LDS most of the time, so we have a temple ceremony in the morning when we get married and then later for those who can't go to that we have some sort of reception where people can meet the couple and their family. My friend Nezumi had her wedding yesterday and for her reception it was European with Japanese influences. The whole thing was amazing and she was so beautiful. There were refreshments, some sort of fruit in a cup, cupcakes, and some other stuff I don't know the name of. It was outside and the weather was perfect with a light breeze, you could hear various family members speaking Japanese, and the atmosphere was just nice in general. Instead of just a signed guest list she did a photo guest list. I am not to confident that my picture will look that great, but oh well. Haha. Instead of the usual wedding dress Nezumi dressed in a kimono, she looked very lovely! Here are some pictures! Apparently after I talked to her and met the families and stuff she caught me taking the last photo, so it worked out nice.

She is also best friends with my other friend Britney that also had a wedding last week. Sadly I missed that one, I fell asleep an hour before it, I was so exhausted that day. When I was going through the line meeting her family members some of them couldn't speak english and so her mom translated back and forth for me and the other people. Her family members also wore kimonos as well. Nezumi is moving to Japan soon, I'm glad I got to see her get married. We have known each other for a very long time. Her friend Britney is the little sister of Amanda, the girl I used to be best friends with until my senior year of high school.

I talked with some friends for a while and then left after I saw her and everything. I walked back to my house after this and just watched some youtube videos, played Minecraft, and some other games. I got really tired around 8pm and slept until around 6am, I was sooo tired. Sorry for not getting this up yesterday. On the other hand I have been meaning to move my blogging to the mornings, so I guess this works out just fine.

So today and yesterday I have spent a good part of the day organizing photos and getting them ready for flickr upload. I have procrastinated this for a long time because I knew it would take forever. I just finally finished just a few minutes ago. Nothing much other than this happened yesterday or today. I did watch some minecraft videos today, and played some Tetris and stuff. I took a nap and just hung around the house and stuff like that.  I've been keeping a close eye on the Xanga fundraiser for the past few days, I really don't want it to close, that would suck for me majorly. 

My flickr page is HERE

We had baked potatoes with cheese and whatever else we wanted to put on them today for dinner.

The Highlight of the day was definitely this morning when out of nowhere Ronnie messaged me. he has been having a difficult time and we kind of fell apart for a while. I am glad he is talking to me again. A series of things happened and first he tried pushing me away and then I tried doing the same thing but gave up after a while. Honestly I really hate living my life without him. I hate the void I feel when I don't have him in my life. I'm really hoping he comes over here sometime this year or soon or whatever. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Oh, and almost forgot, I was taking a nap today and I had this dream I was in Cincinnati or somewhere where Ronnie was. I think my family was on vacation or something like that. I remember walking past some shops or something, kind of seemed like a really weird mall and I realized I was pretty close to him. I was nervous for a minutes and when I walked a little distance away across some street and went into this building where people were getting drinks and playing games I was actually trying to hid my face from him but he saw me. He was happy to see me, and invited me to join him and his friends. I'm not really sure why, probably because my parents were waiting, or because I saw something interesting or because I thought he was nearby still, but I wandered off exploring this place I was in. I was quite stressed when I couldn't find him and a little while later I knew I had to return to my family because I didn't say anything to them about what i was doing. For the rest of the dream I spent the whole time trying to get to him again, it was both exciting and scary at the same time. I met some really weird people including some mob boss that I almost upset. I got pretty close to finding him I think when I was woken up by my niece playing the piano. I was actually relieved when I woke up, because i hadn't really lost track of him in a busy city. haha. This just makes me want to see him even more.

Anyway, this is all for now I guess. I'm probably going to listen to some music, or watch some anime, or play minecraft or something.

Oh man, I've been working on this house in Minecraft, today I remade the house for the 3rd time. The first time I had the basement raised completely out of the ground, and the front door on what is usually the first floor was raised in the air. There was a balcony all around hanging over the basement, or in this case the new first floor. I finished that version but, after a while I decided I wanted to re-make it in another minecraft world with a proper basement. The second try I put the basement too deep and the window wells didn't work out that well. Now on version 3 I have FINALLY got it right. I am done with the walls, floor, and ceiling so far right now, I still have to do the outside exterior, and the interior decorating. This is just one of many projects I have planned for the future. I will show my house and my other builds with you sometime soon.

That has taken a lot of my time today, besides catching up on some anime, and some other stuff nothing really that interesting happened. I fell asleep early yesterday evening around 8pm right after dinner. We had potatoes, roast, and salad. The dinner was fantastic, but because I fell asleep right after I never got to update my last blog entry. I guess it is okay because I didn't have much to talk about today. I did wake up for a few hours in the middle of the night, but i didn't feel like adding anything to the entry anymore.

Anyway, here is a spoiler since this post is kind of bare. I'm way past this stage of building the house now. I was using the Candycraft texture pack, so everything has a candy theme in the photo.

Today I was caught in the middle of some drama over at the Xangaville group on facebook. I accidentally worded something wrong and offended someone there because they misunderstood what I said. It doesn't matter what it was about, so I won't say on here. Things quickly got ugly and people started to defend me and... I guess you could say the person got in a bit of trouble for being harsh. It didn't last long, and it wasn't really the person's fault that things erupted. I sometimes have a hard time with wording things. The drama only lasted for about 5 minutes and then it was done, but it was interesting. I held nothing against the person and quickly owned up to my mistake and things are fine now. To lighten the ominous mood that has been sweeping over the facebook group over the past few days I posted a picture of Discord from My Little Pony and said "Blame it on Discord". I think a few people got a kick out of it.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep yesterday because our loud dishwasher was running. I think I got probably 4 or 5 hours I think. We need to fix it or something like that. I have pretty much been tired all day. Church is pretty early, so I had to get up at 8am and find a ride and get ready and stuff. I kind of zoned out at church a lot and couldn't concentrate, I'll probably read some talks or something later to make up for it.

I am a huge Minecraft fan and have been working on a house for the past few days in the game. Today one of my favorite Minecrafters is doing a live-stream (generikb). I have been listening / watching his live-stream on twitch.tv. I think he is doing it until 8pm GMT or something like that, might be a little off on the time. I will make sure to put pictures of my house when it is finished. I tried live-streaming once on this laptop, my computer can't handle playing Minecraft AND live-streaming it too. It went up to 99 degrees celcius pretty fast. Someday I will definitely live-stream when I have a different computer however.

I went to Costco yesterday and bought new glasses, they should be here in a few days, my family also bought a bunch of groceries. We were getting a bit scarce and most of us have been too busy up until today to shop, so it was nice. I am definitely going to have to stretch my money this month because of my purchase today, I think I will be fine however.

When we were bringing in the groceries yesterday I felt something wet on my shirt when i was carrying the bag of lemons in the house. Being a bit puzzled I lifted the bag up and looked closer and there right before my eyes was a REALLY moldy lemon, it was so unbelievably gross. I laughed at it later, but it made me gag. No one wants moldy lemon juice on their shirt or clothes in general.

My nieces and my sister got back from a weekend camping trip, it seems like they had fun. I haven't been camping in a few years, but I love it. In my church girls from 12 to 18 usually participate in a 4 day camping experience every summer. I went for all 7 years and had a blast every year I went. We played games, roasted stuff over a fire, told stories, learned songs and medical stuff like CPR, went hiking, and a lot of other stuff. I still miss doing that every year, I hope I can get on the planning commitee some day so I can be a camp leader and go again. The camping sites varied, my first year we slept in tents, my second year we slept in these weird triangle cabins that were SO dusty, I hated that one. For the rest of the years I went I went to this really nice camping site with pretty nice cabins that had wooden bunks. Out of all 3 sites i went I think the first one was the best. We had to sleep in tents, but the scenery was beautiful and there were SO many places to explore, it was wonderful. I will have to find pictures sometime for you guys. I have plenty of stories about when i went camping, but I'll save them for another time, no need to tell everything right now!

Anyway, it is still pretty early right now, so I'll most likely update this post later, and probably maybe re-post it.

Yes, I know the title is very ominous, but that is what the atmosphere of the site is like right now. It seems like we have already given up. Personally I will be fine either way. If Xanga closes I will be sad, but if it doesn't and it changes I'll be okay with that as well. I understand some of your frustrations, but don't lose heart so fast. I know they have said a lot of things about how things will probably be if they succeed, like there would be paid blogs and stuff. You never know however for sure what will happen if they actually do succeed in getting money. Xanga might change, or it might stay the same, the future, despite what we have been told is still up in the air at this point in time. The fact of the matter is, no one knows what will actually happen at that time. The team has made plans, but plans change with different events, so I see no point in pretending like there is a meteor coming towards Xanga right now. Enjoy it while it is here!

I apologize for my absence this year, I know you guys love reading my blog when I do post. I haven't been around a whole lot this year due to trouble in school and such. It has taken me some time to recover from that nightmare, a whole month in fact. I have been relaxing watching anime and catching up on various TV shows. I've been working on jump starting my DeviantART, have been reading, spending time with family, and playing games like Minecraft and Destiny Online. Don't worry about missing stuff, I can always tell stories about stuff you have missed later. I used to feel quite bad about making you guys wait, but whatever you have missed I can still tell you about.

All this drama reminds me of an experience I had a long time ago. I used to blog on AOL Journals back when they existed. I think that was my first blog I ever had. Sometime around then after a few months I created this account, it wasn't until 8 or so months after I started blogging there however that I created this account. I didn't use Xanga however until a year later. Somewhere in the time I started becoming inactive on AOL Journals and started going on WordPress, and Xanga and stuff like that I lost EVERYTHING on that blog because AOL Journals had closed and I didn't know about it at all. That was a huge tragedy for me, I am still sad about that to this day. I really hope no one has to go through the same thing I went through. I don't want this place to close because somewhere, someone will come looking for their blog unaware of what has happened to the site. I'm sure if people lose their blogs they will be stressed about it. For me, from my point of view, Xanga possibly changing really isn't as important to me as just preserving people's history.

This is no longer my main blog, even if things disappear you guys will still be able to find me >>> HERE <<<  My blog will always be around, no matter what, it is just in my nature to want to write what I think down, even if i do occasionally disappear (which I know is probably a bad idea to do again because it probably would have helped me with school and staying sane this past semester).

Anyway, these are my thoughts for right now. I will most likely post again later, or tomorrow, or something (who knows).

You guys do your best to have a good day (or night).

I usually don't ask this if you guys, but please rec. <3

today was pretty uneventful, I have just been looking for a new online game to play, napping, and reading tech support stories. Saturdays and Sundays are lay back days for me.

Friday was fun, I went to my nieces school carnival. It was mostly for kids, they had ponies, a rock climbing wall, face painting, food, and other stuff. I got some cotton candy and got a dinner from Costa Vita (a resteraunt nearby was catering). My sister brought me an orange flavored water. The food was great and I spent a while walking around, and just seeing the stuff there was. I took place in the silent auction they were having, they had a lot of different baskets of stuff like candy, sports stuff, gardening stuff, etc. I saw this basket full of Spry and Xlear products, my family is a big fan of Xylitol sweetened stuff, we use the toothpaste, chew the gum, etc. I placed a couple of bets, but I didn't win it, because someone bet higher than me. I was going to bet on something else, but couldn't find anything else I wanted to bet on. I just got some sweet break and a water instead with my money (everything cost tickets, $1 = 4 tickets, mostly everything was 4 tickets so I only needed 8).

My sister won massages, movie tickets, an oil change for the car, and a gardening basket, so that made up for me loosing. I'm hoping that I can go with her for the massage because I've never had one.

I am really glad I got some sun yesterday, I don't get it often enough I think. I really need to go outside more often this spring and summer. I have a bad habit of staying inside, I am a bit of a computer nerd. It's so easy for me to spend a lot of time on my laptop when I really have nothing I need to do when I am out of school until August. I am going to make sure I don't spend the whole time sitting on my floor this summer playing games however. I want to start running, and practice my yoga and pilates more this time around.

After the carnival when we were walking home I spotted out lilac bush and it had bloomed and smelled so good. I forgot to take a picture last year and almost forgot to take one this year, luckily on my way back I noticed the bush and got a picture this time. It is about 12 or 13 feet tall now, when we got it when I was 9 it was shorter than me! I will put a picture later

This online game I've been playing for years called Destiny Online is closing sometime next week. I have a lot of history with that game. I was a player GM (game master), and a moderator for about 2 and a half years. I made sure people didn't break the rules and helped with bug reports and stuff. I have made hundreds of friends on that game the 4 and a half years I have bee playing it. I am kind of sad it is going, it's going to be hard replacing Destiny Online. I might just stick with minecraft, it seems to be the only game I like right now besides that, plus it is both single player and multi player if you want it to be. I will have to show you my builds for sure sometime.

We had Stir Fry for dinner, that is the second time this week we have had it, I can't complain though. I think I want to learn how to cook however so we can have more variety, that would be nice.

Anyway, I guess that is all for now.

Hello everyone!!! I know it's been a while.

School ended 9 days ago, it was a crazy semester! If you remember I only had two classes, history and sociology. History was mostly a lecture class, we talked about everything from religions, to government, and moral code. It was always amazing how she managed to cover the subject material in just one class every time I went. The homework was mostly reading from the two textbooks, we did have one group project and a book report though. My partner did half on mosaics, and I did the other half on renaissance paintings. I did get behind in the readings this semester, but I always got caught up with long study sessions. I think I did OKAY this semester but I probably could have been a lot better about staying caught up. My book report was two months late, I just couldn't read the book it was hard (I had a hard time concentrating). There are other reasons why I had a taught time this semester even though it was pretty easy in reality, but I will talk about those later.

In all honesty I never even touched my sociology book, that is probably the reason why I only got half score on all the tests and why I am going to probably fail that class. I got so stressed with history I just never thought about it because I was so behind in that class all the time and I couldn't get the motivation to do anything most of the time (I'll explain later like I said). Sociology was basically just the reading (he didn't even make sure we read the book), but mostly just tests at the core reading wasn't even graded. I think I made a mistake by choosing a teacher that has a heavy Chinese accent, I don't think I learned as much because of that. Usually if I don't read the book I can get something out of the teacher and learn anyway, but this semester was different because of the way he spoke. I thought I would be okaay, but I zone out way to much. There were notes online, but I don't think I studied those enough to get by as well because I was stressed out about my class. We did have a paper, it was 3 pages, and i did it on world religion. I think if I do pass it'll be because of that paper, that and my perfect attendance.

If you have read some of my earlier posts you know about my bad habit when it comes to staying up late. Sometimes I went to bed early, but I always woke up early. I got into drinking Rockstar energy drinks this semester. I stopped half way through the semester and started drinking Sobe, but you can probably guess I started sleeping in class after I stopped the caffeine. I was drinking two Rockstars every day I went to class at one point (I only had class twice a week). I started getting really bad anxiety from this however, so I dropped from two to one, and then completely dropped off from there. At some point during the semester I just stopped buying drinks almost all together and just drank water.

Anyway, safe to say I messed up big time this semester and I regret it a lot. It could have been so easy if I had just got myself together sooner instead of later. I lost myself because of troubles with Ronnie, I had a hard time dealing with the situation we were in. I will give that it's own post though, I don't want to talk about that right at this moment.

I also book a religion class, but I will save that for Sunday because it was so interesting. I had it in-between my two regular classes. Every day (almost) I would either bring a lunch or buy a lunch after History and take it to that class and eat. I always ate out in the hallway and listened to the teacher speak and when I was done I went inside and sat down. 

I think I probably need to work on my procrastination again, I think I watched anime and played games more than anything this semester because I was so shot from the events happening with friends.

Anyway, I have a lot of stuff to share with you, I just wanted to get talking about the school stuff out of the way to prep for the more interesting stuff. I have no doubt that this semester I probably would have written more if I hadn't been so stressed. Eventually I will be able to do school and blog a the same time, maybe this next fall semester, not sure though. I probably should have written my feelings down more this semester, I was definitely having a hard time and wish I put it down on here now.  I think maybe it would have helped, but oh well.

I have a second chance in History coming up because it's a two part class, I know I passed that one by the way, it turned out alright. I am not going to make the same mistakes i did this semester next semester. I am probably going to take sociology again as well at some point. I am just glad I will be able to have a second chance to overwrite my mistakes. I definitely wasn't feeling up to par this semester.

So, I have some stories I want to share with you, but I just wanted to get most of this stuff out of the way before i do that. I wanted to let you guys know what I have been doing for the most part. I will probably write again later or tomorrow. I am going to start writing in the early afternoons instead of the night now.

Yesterday was kind of a rough day. Not only did I only get an hour of sleep the night before, but my really close friend had a huge fire on his property and my brother got half of his big toe sliced off by a snow plow.

My day started out normal, well as normal as it could be with only one hour of sleep. I felt like a zombie come back from the grave. I got ready for school, ate breakfast, and helped my nieces get ready and I brushed their hair for them. I was really careful not to sit down a lot before school, I knew I would probably fall asleep and not want to get up if I did.

We all left for school, Natalie forgot her homework, so we just dropped off Kayla and brought back Natalie to the house to get her homework. After Natalie got her homework my sister dropped me off at school and I B lined for the nearest vending machine. I wanted a Mt. Dew so bad, but the vending machines were being stupid, so I had to buy one that wasn't in a vending machine. I guess this isn't too bad, it only cost me a little bit more, but still it was dumb. I was just glad to have my Mt. Dew and I headed over to my history class.

We talked about the role of religion in early history. I learned about some beliefs and stuff that I never knew about before and it was so fascinating. I finished off my Mt. Dew Code red by the end of the class and I was starting to feel more awake.

I have two hours between classes, so I went to Rockin Robbies and got a chicken sandwich and fries. Sometimes I wish they had a location outside of the campus sometimes. Their food is always great. It's a little expensive, but it's great none the less.

I just hung around and bought a green tea and just walked around the campus observing everything and everyone that was around. Around 12:30 noon I decided to sign up for an Institute of religion class. I wasn't sure if I would do it this semester, but I decided to take one that focuses on Christian history. i have no idea how that is going to turn out, but it seems interesting so far.

Sociology was a blur, I was so out of it even with the Mt. Dew and the green tea in my system. Everything we talked about is a blur and just flew past my head.

After school was done I left and called for a ride. I called my sister, but my dad was the one that came and picked me up. It was around this time that I found out about both the fire at Ronnie's house, and my brothers injury at the same time.

We went to the E.R where my brother was and I got to watch then stitch on the half of his toe. I am not blood squeamish in the slightest, I actually thought it was kind of cool in fact. of course I felt bad for him though. We had an accident with a snow plow and the bone in his toe also broke.

The rest of the day is a complete blur honestly. I was so out of it and I tried to stay active by playing Minecraft, listening to music, exercising, watching TV, and hanging out with my family. In the end I ended up falling asleep around 9pm. I was just lying there watching TV thinking about stuff and I just totally went under. I ended up waking up for a few minutes around midnight, I crawled into bed and slept until around 4am, then I had a few hours where I had trouble falling asleep, but in the end I fell asleep around 6:30am.

I think my body has been catching up on sleep today. Even though I had a pretty good night last night I still ended up sleeping for part of the afternoon today.

I went to the dentist today. I only have one really small cavity. I am going to get that filled in about 2 months. My dentist is one of the best in the country. He said my teeth and everything look amazing, besides that one little cavity. I was so happy to hear that my teeth are doing good. I have always had problems with them ever since I can remember, so it was nice to hear some good news.

I returned the sociology book I bought a couple of days ago. I'm going to purchase it again when the person that is paying for it puts more money into my sponsored account. I payed for it the first time with my sponsored account, but not fully. I payed for more than half of it myself when I did it the first time. I can't really afford that, so I had to ask for more money from the person that is paying for my books and stuff. I am going to get it again on Monday probably. It was a real pain for the book store when I was returning it because they had to figure out how to return the money in both places. My money wasn't really a problem, but they had trouble figuring out the money from the sponsored account.

I was glad to be over with that. My sister and I got some food from a local fast food restaurant after that. I got a spicy chicken sandwich and an ice water, I don't remember what my sister got.

Other than that stuff I went to the store tonight and got some milk, cereal, bowls, soap, and pretzel sticks. It is pretty cold tonight, around 17 degrees I think over here, plush it's been snowing as well.

I guess I'll just go chill now or something.

Another college semester has started this week. I only have 2 classes. I think they are both going to rock so much this semester. I am taking World History up to the 1600s, and Sociology. I am a little nervous about sociology, but my teacher is this funny Chinese guy that totally knows how to break the ice, so that makes it easier for me. He makes us laugh so much, and that gets rid of so much of the nervousness for me. We haven't done anything that major yet in either or my classes, we have just been over the syllabus so far and got the classes described to us and what we are going to be doing. I can tell history is going to be so interesting, and i'm sure Sociology is too.

Vocational rehab payed for my books this semester and my tuition, they didn't quite put enough money in for my books though, I was 94 dollars short. I had to pay that myself, it kind of sucked a lot. I am so glad I get SSI, otherwise I would have had to wait a few more days for them to put money in my account and I wouldn't be prepared for class probably, and that would have sucked believe me.  I had to wait in line for like a half an hour to buy them as well.

It's so nice to get to walk around the school again and see what everyone is doing. I don't talk to anyone really, but it doesn't bother me that much. I enjoy just observing and exploring different places. I get so bored just being at home. I have always been an observer and adventurer at heart.

I have been playing Minecraft a ton since my last post. I decided to go all out before school started and just bury myself in the game for a few days. I don't get to play that much during school, so I figured it was a great time. That is all I was doing before school after my last post was just play Minecraft with my nieces on the PC and on the Xbox. My week last week and the first couple of days before school this week went so fast because of that. I figured I could get away with not posting anything to my blog for a few days, I just wanted to take full advantage of my free time while I still could. I played so much that i see the game when I close my eyes now. When I have Tetris marathons the same thing happens. If you look up "Tetris Effect" you will probably understand more. I'll put up pictures of my Minecraft world in my next post, I still have a few things I want to do first.

New Years was just like another day, we did the countdown and snacked and stuff, but other than that nothing happened, and other than gaming and school nothing has happened since then.

Today I have just been watching movies, hanging out around the house, listening to music, reading "Holes", and just chilling out checking out my text books. I only have school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so the other days I'll be able to take it easy a little more. I know I'll have to be careful not to get lazy of course. Sometimes when I have too much freedom I tend to get lazy. I don't think that will happen this semester though.

Anyway, this is all for now I guess. I'll probably post more later if I forgot anything.

So as you know for the past week I have had a cold. For most of this week I have had a small cough, runny nose, stuffy nose, was sensitive to cold and other sensations and had a pounding headache.

For the past few days since my last entry I have just been taking it easy. I've been keeping my cold quiet, I don't think anyone in my family suspected I had one. I have been keeping mostly to myself all week. I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want them to worry about getting it. I'm pretty good about not getting other people sick, so I just felt like no one needed to know.

I've been sitting and lying on the couch all week since my last entry just playing with my iphone 5 and watching TV. It's been a very relaxing few days and my cold is pretty much gone now. All that is left now is a tiny cough, but that is about it and I can control it most of the time.

I've occupied my time with history channel and iphone apps. I think one of my favorite iphone apps I've been playing on my iphone 5 is called Asphalt 7, it's a racing game.

I'm really looking forward to a new year. I feel like this new year will be one of the best ones yet. I'm also looking forward to being in school for another semester.

I'm glad to finally almost be rid of my cold, it's going to make my New Year's Eve and New Years a lot more enjoyable. I would have hated to still be sick.

Anyway, I guess this is all for now. I just wanted you guys to know what has been going on and that you haven't missed anything really.

I woke up on Christmas with a stuffy / runny nose, I was really sensitive to cold things, and was aching a little. I noticed that I was hyper sensitive to touch, it was pretty weird and uncomfortable. In short I caught a cold, and I did not feel up to par. The night was not very kind to me, I hardly got any sleep and felt like a zombie when I woke up. It took everyone time to get together, we ate breakfast first yesterday. We have a tradition every year, we make aebleskivers, bacon, and sausage. I just sat in the living room in a daze and waited for everyone to gather so we could open presents.

It was a couple of hours after I woke up that we finally began to open our presents. This is what I got.

Starting from the bottom, going from right to left:

1. A blue shirt with sequens
2. Winter stuff, hat, gloves, and scarf.
3. Thomas Kinkade Calendar (he's a beautiful artist).
4. New pair of jeans
5. The Hobbit (book)
6. Bandanas, headbands, and soap
7. Number 7 is what the bandanas and headbands were in. It's a box disguised as a book. It has peacock designs on it.
8. My new shoes, they look blue in the photo, but they are actually more like aquamarine, or mint green.
9. This one was the one I did not expect at ALL. iPhone 5. Both me and my brother got one.

My nieces got an Xbox 360, with a couple of games. I have always wanted an Xbox, so this made me really happy. I will probably buy some games of my own soon for it.

When we were setting up my iPhone yesterday, the person that was setting it up accidentally got my number and my dad's number mixed up somehow. We got it fixed though. I had to have my dad's number for the night, everything else on my phone was mine though.

My day was a bit blurry because of my cold. My mom made beef stew  and cream of brocoli soup for dinner. I am really glad she made soup, it was exactly what I needed. In the evening after dinner my family started playing games. I just went back downstairs and started watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" on TV. I talked to Ronnie and played around with my new iPhone while i was doing this. My head was pounding, so it was nice to just lie on the couch and relax. I was also pretty worn out because of all the social interaction.

My mom made her English Toffee, she is really great at making it. We put nuts on top of it sometimes, but this time it was just caramel and chocolate.

It was so nice when I got to go to sleep. I woke up twice, but I still got pretty good sleep. I think this is all for now. I'm still feeling pretty bad right now, but not as bad. I am not sensitive or achy anymore. My cold is basically the reason why I didn't do this yesterday.

So, when I went upstairs today there was a few inches of fresh white snow on the ground. The snow was falling pretty heavily, and the wind was also blowing. My niece Natalie was kind of freaking out about it a little because my sister went to the store and it took her a while to get back because it was so crazy. She was afraid she got in some kind of accident or something. My nieces and I watched Poahontis 2, and also watched a few episodes of "Pound Puppies". I have no problem with watching stuff like this with them sometimes because I always get to watch what I want downstairs in my room. I had fun hanging out with them, drinking herbal tea, and also watching the snow.

Here is a video of the snow.

I had a little bit of trouble sleeping last night. It was one of those nights where you wake up like every 2 hours. I always have trouble sleeping around Christmas, everything is so exciting. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon, I felt like a heavy brick. I don't expect to be able to sleep better tonight with all the excitement about the presents and Christmas day in general.

I got all cleaned up and ready for the evening fun we had tonight after I woke up from my nap. We played the present game tonight, it's a tradition we have every year. I grew up playing the present game, some years have been better than others.  What we do is a few people buy presents that are under 5 dollars each. Each person makes sure no one sees the presents they bought and wraps them up. All the presents are then put in a pile and we each pick a number. Sometimes we use the dice, you have to roll either a 7 or 11 to pick a present. This year we didn't use the dice, we just went around in order of number. What happens is you go around by order of number and you either pick a present, or steal someone else's present. If you steal from someone they get to pick a new present out of the pile. This just goes around until all the presents are gone, and then if you want you can trade presents afterwards.

Here is what I got this year. Apple cider mix, cheese puffs, air freshener, pretzels, and candy.

After we did the game we ate. We had a lot of stuff tonight. We had chips, cheese and chocolate fondue, salsa, angel food cake, fruit veggies, tempura, pigs in a blanket, etc. Here are the pictures. By the way, never fry an apple in tempura batter, it is gross. haha.

It was really fun, we all had fun using the oil to fry things. One of my brothers did something extremely weird and fried a little weenie wrapped in a marshmallow that was also wrapped in some dough. It was both hilarious and disgusting. There were people that tried to roast marshmallows in the oil, and others that dipped fruit in the tempura batter and then ate it. I tried that, but thought it was gross. It was lively and everyone enjoyed themselves the whole evening.

After we got done eating and everything winded down, we read the Night Before Christmas poem, the story of Jesus's birth from the book of Luke in the bible, and this story called "The Littlest Angel". We all went and did our own thing after this, and I have just been surfing Xanga ever since and watching stuff on Youtube. I don't think anything else is going to happen tonight. My family started watching "Merlin" upstairs, but I haven't seen season 5 yet, so that is why I came down here. Anyway, today has been fun and exciting. I have no doubt that tomorrow will be the same.

I got to talk to Ronnie tonight, he has been having a good day today. I was hoping he would have a good Christmas. I think getting to share my day with him, the pictures and the videos was definitely one of the best things to happen today. I love sharing stuff with Ronnie. We always have the best conversations and always have fun when we talk to each other. He definitely brightened up my day, even though it was already pretty bright.

I don't think I missed anything, but we will see.

No, I'm not telling you what they are. You will have to wait to know what I got today at Walmart. Let's just say there were some things that my parents couldn't buy for me. I never let my parents buy my (accessories) without me seeing them first. I have no idea what the other presents my parents got me were, but I'm sure they got me stuff I will like without any doubt.

I was looking for a micro bead pillow, or some other good pillow. I don't think the pillows I am using right now are good enough, I need something better. I also looked at hair stuff, and my mom got some white chocolate for chocolate covered pretzels on Monday. I never found the pillow I wanted, nor did I find any new hair stuff I liked, but I did find some cute Perry the Platypus Slippers. Unfortunately for me I couldn't find them in my size this time, but I will be back. My love for Phineas and Ferb will make sure I remember those slippers and get them some other time.

It's been a boring day. I mediocre boring, dull day. Besides the store trip (that was fun) I haven't really done anything that is really worth noting. I never really expect anything that interesting to happen on the weekends, that makes it so much nicer when nice stuff does happen.

I'll let this go for today, I don't have to have a lot to talk about every day. It's okay to have boring days sometimes. I have something fun planned for this blog soon anyway, so I guess having the extra time is good this time.