Month: December 2012

  • Well Again

    So as you know for the past week I have had a cold. For most of this week I have had a small cough, runny nose, stuffy nose, was sensitive to cold and other sensations and had a pounding headache.

    For the past few days since my last entry I have just been taking it easy. I've been keeping my cold quiet, I don't think anyone in my family suspected I had one. I have been keeping mostly to myself all week. I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want them to worry about getting it. I'm pretty good about not getting other people sick, so I just felt like no one needed to know.

    I've been sitting and lying on the couch all week since my last entry just playing with my iphone 5 and watching TV. It's been a very relaxing few days and my cold is pretty much gone now. All that is left now is a tiny cough, but that is about it and I can control it most of the time.

    I've occupied my time with history channel and iphone apps. I think one of my favorite iphone apps I've been playing on my iphone 5 is called Asphalt 7, it's a racing game.

    I'm really looking forward to a new year. I feel like this new year will be one of the best ones yet. I'm also looking forward to being in school for another semester.

    I'm glad to finally almost be rid of my cold, it's going to make my New Year's Eve and New Years a lot more enjoyable. I would have hated to still be sick.

    Anyway, I guess this is all for now. I just wanted you guys to know what has been going on and that you haven't missed anything really. :)

  • Christmas Colds

    I woke up on Christmas with a stuffy / runny nose, I was really sensitive to cold things, and was aching a little. I noticed that I was hyper sensitive to touch, it was pretty weird and uncomfortable. In short I caught a cold, and I did not feel up to par. The night was not very kind to me, I hardly got any sleep and felt like a zombie when I woke up. It took everyone time to get together, we ate breakfast first yesterday. We have a tradition every year, we make aebleskivers, bacon, and sausage. I just sat in the living room in a daze and waited for everyone to gather so we could open presents.

    It was a couple of hours after I woke up that we finally began to open our presents. This is what I got.

    Starting from the bottom, going from right to left:

    1. A blue shirt with sequens
    2. Winter stuff, hat, gloves, and scarf.
    3. Thomas Kinkade Calendar (he's a beautiful artist).
    4. New pair of jeans
    5. The Hobbit (book)
    6. Bandanas, headbands, and soap
    7. Number 7 is what the bandanas and headbands were in. It's a box disguised as a book. It has peacock designs on it.
    8. My new shoes, they look blue in the photo, but they are actually more like aquamarine, or mint green.
    9. This one was the one I did not expect at ALL. iPhone 5. Both me and my brother got one.

     

    My nieces got an Xbox 360, with a couple of games. I have always wanted an Xbox, so this made me really happy. I will probably buy some games of my own soon for it.

    When we were setting up my iPhone yesterday, the person that was setting it up accidentally got my number and my dad's number mixed up somehow. We got it fixed though. I had to have my dad's number for the night, everything else on my phone was mine though.

    My day was a bit blurry because of my cold. My mom made beef stew  and cream of brocoli soup for dinner. I am really glad she made soup, it was exactly what I needed. In the evening after dinner my family started playing games. I just went back downstairs and started watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" on TV. I talked to Ronnie and played around with my new iPhone while i was doing this. My head was pounding, so it was nice to just lie on the couch and relax. I was also pretty worn out because of all the social interaction.

    My mom made her English Toffee, she is really great at making it. We put nuts on top of it sometimes, but this time it was just caramel and chocolate.

    It was so nice when I got to go to sleep. I woke up twice, but I still got pretty good sleep. I think this is all for now. I'm still feeling pretty bad right now, but not as bad. I am not sensitive or achy anymore. My cold is basically the reason why I didn't do this yesterday. :)

  • Fried Food on Christmas Eve

    So, when I went upstairs today there was a few inches of fresh white snow on the ground. The snow was falling pretty heavily, and the wind was also blowing. My niece Natalie was kind of freaking out about it a little because my sister went to the store and it took her a while to get back because it was so crazy. She was afraid she got in some kind of accident or something. My nieces and I watched Poahontis 2, and also watched a few episodes of "Pound Puppies". I have no problem with watching stuff like this with them sometimes because I always get to watch what I want downstairs in my room. I had fun hanging out with them, drinking herbal tea, and also watching the snow.

    Here is a video of the snow. :)

     

    I had a little bit of trouble sleeping last night. It was one of those nights where you wake up like every 2 hours. I always have trouble sleeping around Christmas, everything is so exciting. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon, I felt like a heavy brick. I don't expect to be able to sleep better tonight with all the excitement about the presents and Christmas day in general.

    I got all cleaned up and ready for the evening fun we had tonight after I woke up from my nap. We played the present game tonight, it's a tradition we have every year. I grew up playing the present game, some years have been better than others.  What we do is a few people buy presents that are under 5 dollars each. Each person makes sure no one sees the presents they bought and wraps them up. All the presents are then put in a pile and we each pick a number. Sometimes we use the dice, you have to roll either a 7 or 11 to pick a present. This year we didn't use the dice, we just went around in order of number. What happens is you go around by order of number and you either pick a present, or steal someone else's present. If you steal from someone they get to pick a new present out of the pile. This just goes around until all the presents are gone, and then if you want you can trade presents afterwards.

    Here is what I got this year. Apple cider mix, cheese puffs, air freshener, pretzels, and candy.

    After we did the game we ate. We had a lot of stuff tonight. We had chips, cheese and chocolate fondue, salsa, angel food cake, fruit veggies, tempura, pigs in a blanket, etc. Here are the pictures. By the way, never fry an apple in tempura batter, it is gross. haha.

     

    It was really fun, we all had fun using the oil to fry things. One of my brothers did something extremely weird and fried a little weenie wrapped in a marshmallow that was also wrapped in some dough. It was both hilarious and disgusting. There were people that tried to roast marshmallows in the oil, and others that dipped fruit in the tempura batter and then ate it. I tried that, but thought it was gross. It was lively and everyone enjoyed themselves the whole evening.

    After we got done eating and everything winded down, we read the Night Before Christmas poem, the story of Jesus's birth from the book of Luke in the bible, and this story called "The Littlest Angel". We all went and did our own thing after this, and I have just been surfing Xanga ever since and watching stuff on Youtube. I don't think anything else is going to happen tonight. My family started watching "Merlin" upstairs, but I haven't seen season 5 yet, so that is why I came down here. Anyway, today has been fun and exciting. I have no doubt that tomorrow will be the same.

    I got to talk to Ronnie tonight, he has been having a good day today. I was hoping he would have a good Christmas. I think getting to share my day with him, the pictures and the videos was definitely one of the best things to happen today. I love sharing stuff with Ronnie. We always have the best conversations and always have fun when we talk to each other. He definitely brightened up my day, even though it was already pretty bright.

    I don't think I missed anything, but we will see. :)

  • Shopping For My Own Presents

    No, I'm not telling you what they are. You will have to wait to know what I got today at Walmart. Let's just say there were some things that my parents couldn't buy for me. I never let my parents buy my (accessories) without me seeing them first. I have no idea what the other presents my parents got me were, but I'm sure they got me stuff I will like without any doubt.

    I was looking for a micro bead pillow, or some other good pillow. I don't think the pillows I am using right now are good enough, I need something better. I also looked at hair stuff, and my mom got some white chocolate for chocolate covered pretzels on Monday. I never found the pillow I wanted, nor did I find any new hair stuff I liked, but I did find some cute Perry the Platypus Slippers. Unfortunately for me I couldn't find them in my size this time, but I will be back. My love for Phineas and Ferb will make sure I remember those slippers and get them some other time.

    It's been a boring day. I mediocre boring, dull day. Besides the store trip (that was fun) I haven't really done anything that is really worth noting. I never really expect anything that interesting to happen on the weekends, that makes it so much nicer when nice stuff does happen.

    I'll let this go for today, I don't have to have a lot to talk about every day. It's okay to have boring days sometimes. I have something fun planned for this blog soon anyway, so I guess having the extra time is good this time. :)

  • End of the World

    So today is supposedly the end of the world or something. I am LDS and we have different beliefs, but that doesn't mean I haven't had fun reading all the news and hype. It's been a lot of fun following all the craziness. I remember back on New Years Eve 1999 I really believed in the Y2K bug. I thought the world was going to end for real back then or something. I was 11 I think back then and was a little ignorant of this kind of stuff. I used to watch the news, and believe in a lot of crazy things like that. I look back on that and I can laugh a lot. 

    Since it's past 11:11 now I guess we can all safely say it was a false alarm. I don't think anyone will be able to predict the end of the world. I think the end of the world will be unexpected. I believe in signs, but even with signs it will be up in the air just when it will happen. I believe that God will choose the right time. 

    I have taken a liking to The Huffington Post as of late. I like reading their articles, even of them are ridiculous sometmes. I know it isn't the best news site, and a lot of the stuff I read I try not to take too seriously, but it can be fun, and I have other family members that use it as well. I have been following them on facebook for a while, but I never went to their website much. I like how they have a lot of different sections. There is usually at least one thing I am interested in reading. I think my favorite section is the good news section and the weird news section. I loved reading all their articles about the end of the world as well, some of them are really funny.

    Today was Ronnie's birthday. I'm not sure what he did today though. I know he went to a concert, but that is pretty much it. I really hope he had a good day today, it is his birthday after all. He turned 28, he is almost 5 years older than me, but that doesn't matter to me in the slightest. I really hope his Christmas holiday in general turns out better than he thinks it will. I wish I could give him more than words, but we live so far away from each other. Someday if we are still in contact I am going to move over where he lives. Our distance is one of the very few things that keeps us from getting into a serious relationship. We tried it for a little bit, but decided it was for the best if we put it on hold for now. I completely understand his feelings.

    We had our yearly ward church Christmas party. I fell asleep and ended up being thirty minutes late however. When I woke up I quickly got ready, got my jacket, and went upstairs. I wasn't worried about being late, but I would have liked to be on time. My dad apparently was at the store while I was asleep and came home with a LOT of groceries. We moved some of the groceries inside before he took me to the party. I don't think I would have been on time to the party even if I had woken up early because of the store trip. 

    When I got to the party everyone was just sitting around in various places and talking. Since the party had started a half an hour earlier everyone had already gotten their food and sat down. They had various kinds of soup, and they also had chocolate cake and salad as well. I am not even sure what most of the soups were, but I know they had cream of broccoli, chicken noodle and chili. I had a bowl of the cream of broccoli, it wasn't quite as good as the one my mom makes, but it was still very good tasting. I also got some salad with ranch dressing and chocolate cake. I sat down at a table, but didn't really know anyone at it that much so I moved to an empty table because a lot of the tables were full. Some people at a table asked me if I wanted to join them. I knew a few at the table so I decided to come over there. We just talked an ate, I didn't talk a whole lot, just mostly listened, but I still had a good time at the table. 

    After everyone ate they started to walk around the gym the party was in. Only half of the gym was occupied with tables, the other half had tables with candy, sprinkles, gram crackers, and other stuff for making gingerbread houses. The seats were occupied so I just looked at people's houses and snacked on some of the candy there. There was also a table for making ornaments, a table for writing letters to missionaries, and some other table, but I am not sure what that one was for. 

    I didn't really feel like doing any of that stuff at the moment so i just watched and walked around and just observed in general. I know that is incredibly boring, but I am just this way sometimes. I was feeling a little jumpy and didn't want to hold still or sit down and do one thing so I just walked around and watched everything that was going on to satisfy my jumpyness. 

    After the party was over and everything started to wind down, they let me bring home some of the pretzels (I just noticed I left them in the car as I type this). I just hung around helping with the cleanup a little for a while, and then I called my sister for a ride home. 

    I had been playing games and stuff on my phone a lot while I was at the party, but for some reason near the end the 3G signal quit and I couldn't get online, it kind of sucked a little. I tried to get it back, I even went outside when the party was over while I was waiting for my ride, but for some reason the signal wasn't reaching my phone, it was weird. I gave up after a minute and just went back inside and waited. It didn't take long for my sister to get to the church where the party was held, I went back outside right before she got there. 

    When I got home I just ate some chips, went back downstairs, and started watching The Lord of the Rings the Two Towers somewhere online. I am usually pretty good at finding stuff I want to watch, I can find almost anything.  I snacked on some of the chocolate I bought yesterday and on occasion went upstairs to see what everyone else was doing. I am just watching old cartoons on youtube and just hanging out. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to watch the third LoTR movie. 

  • Peppermint

    When I originally decided I wanted to learn how to play the Cello it was because it reminded me of the voice of the guy I liked at the time. That has evolved into true love for the instrument now. I love the sound and the feel of the Cello, the vibrations, the sensations that it causes In my fingers as I use the bow to play it. I am hardly even a novice at it, but I still love the Cello to death. I can’t wait to get the broken string fixed.

    I had a good night sleep last night. I at least for 7 hours of good sleep due to the fact I went to bed earlier. I was so wiped out after seeing the hobbit and writing my last post that I just wanted to sleep, to just crash and dream and rest. It didn’t take me long to surrcumb to the dream world.

    I had an interesting dream last night. A lot of it is fuzzy, but the most important part I still remember. I had this dream about Ronnie last night (no doubt triggered by the fact we talked last night and I was thinking about him). He was over here at my house, and he was actually living here I think. I think the crowning event of the dream was when he kissed me. I could actually FEEL the kiss, it was vivid and powerful, and I still feel it. My heart obviously speaks very loudly when it comes to him. I nearly forgot the dream, but something, a thought I guess triggered the memory to come back and now I am glad I remembered. I remember we just hung out in the dream and spent time together and stuff, it was really nice. I wish I remembered more though, it was a nice dream and one I don’t want to forget. I thought about not saying anything about the dream, but I have no reason to keep it a secret, so I decided to share it. I am still pretty open when it comes to my feelings for him, I have nothing to hide, and no reason to hide them.

    I’ve been watching movies for most of the day. I’ve watched “Road to Terabithia”, “Toy Story”, and “Holes”. It’s been a while since I have seen some of those movies, and it was nice to see them again. I ate some of the left over movie popcorn from yesterday, and also had some of these white chocolate covered almonds that I found upstairs.

    I have been working on some song lyrics and new poems today. I don’t know how long it will take me to finish them, but when I do I’ll share some of them on here. I love sharing the stuff I write with you guys. I hope to actually be able to make music for the lyrics I write someday. It will probably be a while, but someday I’ll share some songs when I finally learn how to play an instrument.

    I went to the store earlier and bought some dark chocolate peppermint candy, peppermint ice cream, and some cherry chocolate, and raspberry cheesecake flavored cocoa. I was originally going to buy some white chocolate cocoa, but they were out, so I got those flavors instead. I am not surprised in the least that it was gone; it has been dreadfully cold this week. The cocoa supply at the store was down in general, not just the white chocolate, it was obvious that it is a very popular item lately.

    I usually do not buy candy, but I was craving peppermint and chocolate like crazy today. I usually would not listen to my craving, but it’s almost Christmas, so I can have a little bit of fun.

    I spent some time this evening revisiting the memory of over 2 years ago when I was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. My family and I were backup singers for the Smashing Pumpkins. I had fun, but I think I looked dreadful on camera, not to mention I was way more overweight back then. I had fun, but it is still one of my most embarrassing memories ever. My mom made us dress like we were going to church and we were backup singers for a ROCK BAND! I am not the only one that thought it was off. I’ve looked at comments from various places and a lot of people thought we didn’t really do that great. It would have been fine if it was just my brothers and sisters, or even just me, Linda, and my brothers, but it was our whole family and we didn’t have the right sound or the look for the job. I would have done things way different if it was me in charge. I still pray that no one will ever find the video or see what I looked like, that would be horrible. I hate makeup so much and I looked like a clown in all that stage makeup. I never truly loathed makeup until that happened.

    I've been thinking about how nice it would be if Xanga added more fonts. When I type up my posts I type them up in MS Word and I use this font called Segoe Print. I wish they had that on here, I love that font. That is possibly one of the few things I dislike about Xanga, is it's lack of fonts. That font is pretty close to my actual handwriting, but unlike my handwriting it's actually readable and looks nice (haha).

    Anyway I’m going to go make some cocoa, read, watch some stuff, or something like that. I’m going to try and relax as much as possible tonight. It's been a good day today. tomorrow is going to be interesting for sure though. So many things are happening.  :)

  • Hobbits, Dwarves, and Elves

    So I just got back from seeing the Hobbit. I have never read the book, so I had no idea what to expect at all. I remember seeing this really badly made cartoon version a long time ago, but I couldn't rely on that for any help, because it was so dreadfully inaccurate and modified. I was astounded and amazed by the current movie though. I loved every minute of it, and the slowness didn't bother me at all. I have no problem with movies or books that take their sweet time getting to the point. I am glad they didn't try to rush it and make it into just one movie because that wouldn't have made any sense. I think that once all the movies are out and go on DVD a lot of people will change their minds about the slowness. Too many movies that are made from books just rush it and don't get enough in there in my opinion. I think this approach that we have been taking with movies like Harry Potter #7, The Hobbit and some others is very smart. I have no problem with it being in parts at all.

    I loved seeing familiar characters like Galadriel, Gandalf, and Elrond. I never get tired of those characters, especially Gandalf, he is so much fun. I wish there were more people like him in the real world. I also wish there were elves. I would have liked to be of the elven folk, that would have been nice. I am really fond of all the characters, including the dwarves, they are a lot of fun as well. I would have to say my favorite character is definitely Gandalf though, hands down. I still have to read the book, and intend to right after I am finished reading "The Hourglass" series.

    It was so unbelievably freezing cold on the way back home, 16 degrees to be precise. I am glad I did not get a cold drink at the movies, that would have been horrible.   the previews were so long, I think they might have seemed longer because of the anticipation, but still, I think they were a bit much.

    I am actually talking to Ronnie right now as I am typing this. He just had some crazy stuff going on in his life and that is why he was away for so long. I completely understand why he hasn't been around now. I am just really glad he is safe, he scares me sometimes. I think we both have crazy unpredictable lives. I never really doubted he would come back and I would see him again, I was just getting very nervous and some of my defenses started wanting to come up because of it. He is an awesome friend though, I know he would never abandon me without an extremely good reason. I was so happy to see that he messaged me when I was in the car on my way back from the movie, that made me extremely happy. I haven't gotten to talk to him this much in a while, I am enjoying it a lot. 

    I didn't get much sleep last night, I was watching cartoons and I bought a domain name for my blogger blog and set up tabs to all the different profiles I have on various important sites I like. That is now my website and what I share with my friends and family. I would have done it with this blog, but this is pretty much a secret I keep from all my friends and my family. I think my gaming friends, and Ronnie are my only friends that know about this blog.

    Today I found out that one of my favorite youtube channels had nearly all their videos taken down. They are a pretty big music channel, but not all their stuff was posted with permission. I know it's a little far fetched, but I hope they get their stuff back and I hope they will be able to stay on youtube. If they get their stuff back up I'll give you the link to the channel, it is awesome.  A few other channels I follow have had problems with copywrite stuff lately, it has been pretty sad to see some of them have their videos taken down.

    My mom made checken, salad, carrots, and garlic potatoes for dinner, they were great. I love my parents cooking so much.  We ate right before the movie.

    I managed to get in yet another 4 hour nap earlier, I am pretty shameless about them as long as they don't go over 4 hours. I usually try not to do them all the time because then it just messes up my ability to sleep at night.

    I am fairly sure this is all, I might be wrong though. I'll edit if I remember anything worth typing about as usual. :)

    Oh yeah, my website and other blog is www.liahna.com

  • Men Are Confusing!

    Once again, I suggest you check this post out if you haven't already. I still don't feel like enough people have seen it. :)   CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

    I have no clue what is going on, but Ronnie has not talked to me for 8 days now. His birthday is on Friday, and I think he might be busy, but it's kind of confusing me a little because he hasn't said anything to me. I am not going to get my hopes up for anything because our friendship is mostly internet based. I wish he would at least tell me a little bit of what is going on. I've done everything I can, I'll give it 4 more weeks of slack and if he hasn't talked to me by then I'm going to call a flat line. This will truly suck for me if it happens because he is the only close friend I have right now that I feel like I can be myself around and talk to about anything. Abandoned by another friend, just lovely. I'm not going to assume anything quite yet though, I still have faith that he has a reason, I mean he has been really good to me so far, so I have to give him some slack. I'll give it time.

    Today has been a little more eventful. I spent most of the first few hours of my day fixing up my blogger blog. My blogger is www.liahna.com I figured now is probably the time to get it set up finally. I already had a lot of it taken care of, but some of the entries needed editing and stuff and I wanted to host some of the pictures as well somewhere else. I reverted all the posts to drafts and I now have all my current ones until back in August back up. I still have a long way to go, but I am having fun with it. I am a little more censored on blogger than I am here. I don't even let my family know about this blog. I like this blog because I feel like I can talk about anything, like I don't have to hold anything back, but my blogger I am a little more secretive. Like for example, I don't talk about Ronnie, and I don't vent, and if I do vent I try to keep it down, because I know I would get a few comments from my family if I didn't. I don't mind sharing secrets on here, but there are some secrets I would rather my family not know about and Ronnie is one of them. So far as I'm concerned they never need to know, it's none of their business.  My internet business in general is pretty much a secret a lot of the time, unless if I feel like sharing something. I share stuff sometimes, but not often. Usually if any drama or anything goes on I never say anything about it, even on here (but only because it never comes to mind).

    I decided to take a break after a couple of hours, it was around 1pm when I decided to grab my phone, lie down and watch this cartoon I like called "6teen". I think the show is hilarious and so random. I am sad they cancelled it, it was a great show. I fell aslep watching it and ended up sleeping for 4 hours. I guess I needed the sleep, but I still think it was a bit much. Maybe I should make a nap alarm, so I don;t over nap anymore. I am not sure about this yet though because I tend to have my best dreams when I nap. I'll have to think about it carefully.

    I decided today is the day I start working on organizing my very messy picture folder on my computer. I am using my pro account on Flickr to aid me in this task because it is going to be tricky. I just made the decision to go pro on flickr today, because I like it and it will help me manage my photos easier. I am also going to try Shutterfly, and if I like it more than Flickr, well then I guess I'll move. I think I've let the picture situation on my computer get way out of hand. I am usually pretty organized when it comes to stuff on my computer, but I guess I haven't been as careful as I should have been.

    My sister ordered some gluten free pizza from Pizza Hut. It was okay, not as good as some others I've tried, but it was satisfying at least. She also got some root beer with it. She was going to get 2 pizzas but they were pretty expensive, so she got a small one for Kayla and a medium for the rest of us.

    Natalie and Kayla got into some drama again tonight, but it calmed down eventually. They are still young so I try not to make a big deal out of it and ignore their fights as much as I can. I'm sure they will grow up just fine. I remember I was kind of a brat at their age, and wasn't nice sometimes, even to my friends on occasion. I think I was maybe a litle more internally bratty though. I was always good about not getting into fights though. They are both getting close to the age range I understand the most. I'll be able to help them a lot in their teenage years, I just know it. I was a teenager not to far back, I know what it is like and all the trouble you have and the worries.

    Anyway, so right now I'm just sipping on my Egyptian Licorice herbal tea, and reading blogs. This is like a nightly ritual for me now. Tea is a must have every morning and night, I can thank my English anscestors for that. haha.  I am probably going to get some new flavors soon. I don't think we have enough fruity flavors.

    Oh yeah! I nearly forgot to mention this AGAIN. I decided a few months back that I really want to learn how to play the Cello. Ours has been broken for a while (broken G string), and we have been meaning to fix it for a while now. I am going to get it fixed soon and then I'm going to start lessons right after that. I love the Cello so much, I"m so excited to learn it. I want to wait until tomorrow to talk about this more, but just thought I would mention this right now.

  • Not Going As Planned

    So first of all I should probably note that I am now taking Sundays off from blogging. I feel if I do this the chance that I will drop off again will dramatically decrease. Also if you didn't read my last post please do, because it took me forever to type it and stuff, and I personally think it's worth a read. At least look at the pictures. :)   Christmas Lights

    So, I had another late night on Saturday night, I didn't feel like gettng up for church on Sunday, but I did. I slept in until around noon. I texted a few people for a ride to church, but they all said no, so I was in trouble. I decided to go to church with my sister. I only went to Sacrament Meeting. I don't feel comfortable with going to the other parts if it isn't my ward, it's just awkward if I do.

    I was supposed to go to a mission farewell for my childhood best friend Brooke that I haven't seen for a few years, but due to the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert (check out my last entry) my parents were away and I had no ride to her church. I had been trying to figure out how to get around this problem, but sadly I didn't figure out a solution. I won't see her for at least another 18 months now since she is going to be going on an LDS mission for that long. This is something I wish I had planned more carefully.

    My home teachers came on Sunday, and talked with me for a while and then gave a gospel lesson on Christmas. After they were done they gave me this little bag of gummy candies. I don't like gummy candies that much, they taste like chemicals to me. I only eat the organic ones that are made with real stuff and don't have all these funky ingredients and stuff in them. After I bought some gummy bears from Good Earth I haven't been able to go back. They just tasted so much better. Good Earth is a health food store, all the candy is natural and organic. Anyway, so I took out a few of the cinnamon bears because I love hot stuff, and threw away the rest.

    Sunday was my nieces birthday, she had a cold though so it was kind of sad. We went over to my sister in laws parents house and had orange cupcakes with orange chocolate frosting, and these dessert bar things called Hello Dollies. I had no idea what they were before yesterday, but they are made with butterscotch chips, chocolate and some other stuff. I will post the recipe once I figure it out. I think it's an excellent recipe. My niece was so adorable, it took her a little bit to blow out her candles, she turned 2 years old and I don't think she quite gets it yet.

    They had this dog named Mazy there and she knew a lot of tricks and was very cute and friendly. I noticed that when you gave her a command there was a hand gesture that went with it and she wouldn't do it if you didn't do the hand gesture. She knew all the basic tricks, plus this really funny one where if you pretended to shoot her she would pretend to be dead, it was hilarious.

    I finished watching this anime called "Hikaru No Go" it's about this game called "Go". It's a japanese game, and the anime makes it look very fun. It's in the category of games like Chess, Checkers, Shogi, and others like those. I am probably going to learn how to play it when I learn how to play chess and the others. I highly recommend it to anyone that love sports games, or anime similar to those.

    I have been using StumbleUpon a lot today and yesterday surfing sites and finding cool stuff. If you haven't tried it I suggest you do, and follow my stumbles as well. My username is xStarya. I am planning on making some sort of list of a few things I have found with it and I will share that here soon.

    Today was pretty boring, nothing much happened. I don't feel like I really need to say anything about today. I just did my usual basic stuff, so nothing much to tell. I woke up really late as well, so I didn't get much of a chance to really do much anyway. I am really glad I took the day off yesterday now because it made it so I have something to talk about today. I am planning on expanding the stuff I talk about on here and not just talking about what i do every day pretty soon. I will also have my own website pretty soon, so my blog will probably be getting more traffic someday, so I feel like I need to get even more interesting than I currently am.

    Anyway, I guess this is all for this post. I am pretty sure tomorrow will be more interesting. :)

     

  • Christmas Lights

    I didn't get much sleep last night, I lost track of time and ended up going to bed WAY later than I wanted to. Needless to say when I woke up I felt like a certified zombie fresh out of the grave this morning. Six-thirty is not a good bed time for anyone. I guess I should expect to get a wake up call like I did today when my mom is around in the morning. She isn't here in the morning, so it is usually easier for me to sleep in. Today it was around 10:30am and I had turned off my first alarm an hour and a half earlier. I was so looking forward to getting at least 2 more hours of sleep, but my mom had other plans I guess. She opened my door and my eyes were assaulted by a sudden flood of bright light from the downstairs family room. I HATE being woken up this way, I end up being very grumpy for a half an hour every time someone disturbs my sleep like this. I was even more irritated because my second alarm just happens to go off a half an hour after she woke me up. I am not one to show my irritation to my family members unless if I need to though, so no one knew about my morning urges to practice kung-fu on everything in sight. Everything irritates me when I wake up like this, and I do mean everything.

    My dad made his famous home made buttermilk pancakes today, it made up for my not so great wake up call, big time. Everyone in my family absolutely adore his pancakes and waffles. We all grew up eating them, and he even makes the syrup himself, or gets it fresh and organic from Good Earth (it's the health food store my mom is a manager at).

    So the first few hours of my day were pretty boring, just listening to music, reading, surfing blogs on Xanga, doing some stretching, watching anime, and writing more stuff (I'll share my new poetry and stuff in a different post later). I don't feel the need to get into all that stuff, because I want to get into the good stuff now.

    So in the early afternoon I fell asleep with my towel on my head still after washing my hair. I didn't even think about it, I was such a zombie and everyone else had taken up the hot water, so it was like I had to shower outside in the North Pole. Anyway, that aside, I was lucky my towel was wet enough that my hair did not dry completely retarded.

    I was getting ready for the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert that is held every year in Salt Lake City. I didn't feel like messing around with my hair, I was still feeling a bit tired, so I just put it in a wet pony tail and got one of my headbands to keep the stray hair out of my face. I look better with my hair down, but today I didn't feel like thinking about it or caring that much. I cleaned out my purse, organized it, grabbed the 2nd book in Lisa Mangum's "Hourglass series" and put it in my purse. The book is called The Golden Spiral. I grabbed my cream colored fleece jacket out of the closet because it was really cold today with a fresh layer of snow, put on my boots and went upstairs. I ate something before I left, not much, just enough that i wouldn't get car sick on the way to SLC. I get the WORST car sickness on an empty stomach, it's horrid.

    My niece was in a horrible mood, and it took us a few minutes to get her and my other niece out of the door because of this. Everyone was kind of slow and in a bad mood today I think. We eventually got out the door and into our old 1999 Avalon (I know unreal). It seats 6 passengers, I am pretty sure that is why my parents bought it, because they hate vans and will avoid buying one if they can. I find it amusing that it can play cassette tapes. Natalie, my sister, and Ben were in the front. Kayla, Ben's mom and I were in the back. I plugged my earbuds into my iPhone and turned the sound up so I wouldn't have to listen to anything they were listening to or talking about the whole way there. Today's choice was 'Lady Gaga" radio on Pandora. Don't even ask me what possessed me to listen to that because I have no clue. All I cared about in the time we were driving to SLC is how badly I did not want to be stuck in the car with my sister's ex-husband and his stupid jokes. I usually don't mind stupid jokes, but his are just bad on another level and annoying as well.

    The sun illuminated the clouds and made them look very cool. There was a wall of dark clouds that were towards the west, but then the clouds suddenly got lighter towards the east and that caused a really cool effect the way the sun was shining. I had fun looking at that on our way to SLC.

    It took us a while to park the car, we made a few wrong turns on our way there. We eventually found our way, parked and then headed into the City Creek Mall. I have never been to the City Creek Mall before tonight, it was pretty cool. I didn't get a good look at it though, just the stuff on the way to the food court. I will have to visit there some other time I guess.

    This is pretty much the sight that we saw when we got in the 'Red Iguana' line at the food court. It was utter madness. We were in line for probably 15 minutes. Why they chose that I will never know.

    I'm not saying the food was bad, it's just there were so many other choices. I got a chicken enchilada, and a Dr. Pepper, and everyone else got similar stuff. We each got rice, and re-fried beans with our enchilada as well, it's just a standard thing I guess. Some nice couple was sweet enough to give us their table, it seated six and we had six people. We all enjoyed our food (it was spicy!), but ate pretty quickly because it was around 6:50pm and we had to be in our seats by 7:30pm.

    After eating we were all pretty much in a very big hurry. I wasn't too stressed or anything, I knew we would get there on time. I am not a very good night traveler so I was more preoccupied with not missing any drop offs or tripping over anything than I was with getting to the conference center.

    We got there, went through the line, showed our tickets, went through the metal detector, had our bags checked, and then went in and found our seats on the balcony. I was aware that since we didn't get there early we probably weren't going to get to sit on the edge of the balcony, but it was still a little disappointing somewhat. It was okay, but I wish we had been more careful about getting there early so we didn't have to sit all the way up where we sat.

    The concert is pretty much always cool. They have a guest singer, and a guest narrator every year. This year the narrator was Tom Brokaw, and the singer was a British singer by the name of Alfie Boe. The narrator narrates the story they have every year (every year it is different and always somehow tied to Christmas or giving), and also narrates the story of Jesus's birth. The guest singer does number with the choir, and some solos. Then there is always one organ solo that is always phenomenal, and also dancers, and other amazing stuff. The concert is always amazing and I am totally lucky to get to go every year and have both of my parents in the choir.

    We left right after it was done, the place was packed so it was crazy getting out. I asked my sister if we could go see the lights at temple square, and we all agreed to go and see them. The entrance to temple square was packed after the concert, it was so crazy, but we got in.

    Instead of describing the lights I took pictures.


     

    A few people needed to use the restroom, so we decided to take a break from the lights and go take care of that. Here are some pictures of the building, we weren't there long. This used to be a hotel, but now it's the Joseph Smith Memorial building. My parents had their honeymoon here, it was a very nice hotel.

    Up on the 10th floor.

    The fountain and the view from each of the windows on the 10th floor. There were two fountains and two different windows, I only took a picture of one of the fountains though.

    The views from each of the two windows.

    After we were done we got a drink from the drinking fountain.

    Then we went back down the rather... fast elevator.


    We left the building soon after this and went towards the car. I took a few more pictures while we were walking.

    And a few when we were walking back through the mall.

    We got back to the car soon after the last photo was taken. I just sat there in the car looking out the window minding my own business. When we entered the parking lot earlier Ben couldn't get the drivers side window to open, so my sister had to get out of the car to get the ticket so we knew where to park. She accidentally dropped her cashmere scarf there at the entrance and didn't notice until a few minutes later. She thought she left it a the gas station back when we first left the house, but then remembered this. When we left the scarf was still there, and in good shape. This just shows you that there are a lot of good people still in the world that won't take other people's things. There were probably hundreds of people that went through the entrance of that parking lot and it is a valuable scarf, so that makes it even more amazing that it was still there.

    I was feeling kind of irritated and cranky from being around a large amount of people for hours, being an introvert my brain was starting to overload and get overstimulated and my tiredness was starting to catch up with me again. It didn't help that there were pretty talkative and noisy people in the car, I just wanted some peace, but they decided they wanted to sing Christmas songs in the car. I turned on Nightwish radio on my iPhone and cranked it up so most of it was drowned out. I was not in the mood for more Christmas songs, but apparently power metal was just fine.

    We were going to stop at McDonalds on our way back, but changed out minds when we got there. We just went straight home. When we got home (around 11:50pm) I kicked off my boots, put my stuff away, made myself a sandwich, and some tea and then went back downstairs. Anyway, here I am now just watching anime and I've been typing this for an hour and a half, just taking my sweet time.  It is around 2:30am now, I am going to change the date of this post though so it is in on the day I intended it to be on. I am rather picky about that apparently. :)

    It has been a crazy day, but fun at the same time. I would have loved to sleep more today, but I'm glad I chose to go to the concert instead. I am pretty sure I am going to sleep like the dead tonight. I wonder what kind of dreams I'll have tonight. :)

  • Cosmic Dreams

    I missed the meteor shower yesterday, but I think the dream I had last night more than made up for it…

    I opened my eyes and found myself standing on the grass outside of my house. Everything was illuminated and bright like it was day, but the sky was still black with night. The light was more like extremely luminous moonlight, not really like sunlight, it was silvery. I was going to look around for the moon, but my eyes met the stunning meteor shower instead. Thousands of specks flying across the sky made it look like there were a thousand falling stars. The mist of pollution was completely pulled back, nothing stopped my eyes from seeing the sky in all her majesty. I continued to observe to the north, the glittering stars usually dim were bright and flickered in the night sky. My eyes scanned the heavens with wonder and they fell upon an astonishing sight that took my breath away. There was Jupiter in all her glory looking MUCH closer to the earth than she had before. She was at least 30 times bigger than the regular moon is and I could see the details of her magnificent atmosphere. I was aware of other planets, but I didn’t look at them so I couldn’t tell you what they were. My heart was racing, I felt adrenaline rushing through my body, and I just wanted to reach out and touch the sky or fly into the stars and join them. After this everything started to dim and my dream changed. I can’t remember what happened after this, but I remember a few glimpses of Darik, so I know he was in my dreams last night. That doesn’t surprise me in the least.

    I slept in until early afternoon again. I remember waking up twice for both alarms and turning them off quickly. I normally would stay up for the second one, but I think I deserve a few days of laziness. Today has been a pretty ordinary day for me. I babysat my nieces a little bit today and watched the first Muppet movie with them. I have never seen the old one until today. I remember I started watching it a few months ago, but forgot to finish it. I thought it was very cute and VERY funny. I have always had a thing for the Muppets, I grew up watching them a lot. It is no surprise that I got into Sesame street as well when I was younger. I remember watching both of those a lot as a child. I also remember watching the cartoon “Muppet Babies”, and I have recently watched a couple episodes of that on Youtube and still think it is fun to watch.

    I didn’t do very much today, I just worked on my new website a little, watched anime, and read some more of my book The Hourglass Door. I think I am going to finish the book tonight, I’m pretty confident in this fact. As for my website it still has a LOT of work to do on it. I am using breezi.com to do it. I think breezi is probably the best website maker I have come across so far. I will make sure to show you guys my website soon, even though it is far from being finished. I don’t mind showing you the rough draft. Haha.

    It has been a quiet evening, I did some yoga, just a little bit though. Did you know that doing a shoulder stand for a few minutes can cheer you up? My pilates and yoga teachers taught me this and I have been using it every once in a while when the weather or whatever makes me feel melancholy. I did one while I was watching ‘Princess Tutu” with my niece on Netflix.

    I find it funny that I ended up eating nothing but Coco Krispies and cheese sandwiches today. I think my parents need to go shopping sometime soon. Our fridge is starting to run a bit low on food for sure. They have been busy rehearsing and doing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert that they have every year. It is am amazing concert and I am going tomorrow. We always have tickets because both of them are in the choir.

    Anyway, I think this is it for this one. As usual, if I forgot anything I’ll edit or put it in tomorrow’s post.

  • The Kindness of Others

     

    Yesterday when I was reading it dawned on me why I love to observe people so much. Observing is like watching a story unfold. Everyone is an unfinished book still being written. The more you watch them, but more of their story you get to see. I love books because it's like jumping into their life, listening to their thoughts, and BECOMING a part of their life. It's like observing on a whole different level and in a whole different way. I have never noticed this before consciously. I am quite aware of everything and everyone around me, I just love watching and listening to everyone's stories unfold before my eyes. My life can be exciting, but so can other people's too. Everyone's book is different, no one has the same story. Our lives have twists and turns, tragedy and triumph, balance and imbalance. At the same time we are both authors and co-authors. The way we write our lives can influence the story of another person, and if we mess up thankfully a lot of the time someone can help us fix our story. This is a very cool thing to think about, I've never thought about life this way until yesterday night, it makes life seem more interesting.

    I shamelessly slept in today until 2:30 in the afternoon. As I was listening to music on my computer with my lights turned off trying to wake up I accidentally blew my nose too much and caused myself to get a nosebleed. It wasn't a bad one, it was bad enough to need toilet paper though, at least a little. Getting nosebleeds in the morning is one of my least favorite things. It is very rare for me to get a nosebleed at all, but when I do get them they usually drain my livelyness for a little bit. I was glad when it was gone, I just went back to what I was doing.

    Last night I found myself looking at pictures of Darik and listening to music. One would argue that it doesn't make sense because I love Ronnie, but things aren't so black and white with me. When I feel uneasy, uncertain, unbalanced, and insecure I tend to latch onto Darik more. One would have to understand the complexity of my side of our relationship in order to understand why I latch onto him instead of Ronnie sometimes. When I feel threatened in any way for a very long time I used him as a shield to protect me. Darik and I have always had a sort of distant, but complicated relationship. The complicated part is pretty much on my end, but it's this complicated part that makes me feel like I can rely on him to protect my heart better than anyone (yes even Ronnie) except for God. He doesn't even have to do anything, just his existence, his heart, his mind, the way he is brings me comfort. Just knowing there is someone out there that is so wonderful, angelic even, just makes me feel safe. He is by no means perfect, but he doesn't need to be. My relationship with him might sound weird, but it's pretty much second nature to me now. I am used to feeling so attached to him while at the same time keeping my distance physically. I have to do this because I am so prone to being pulled in by him and if I let myself get to close I'll end up getting hurt. I know Darik isn't the one, so I play my cards carefully. I do love Darik, but it's different. I was looking at his pictures this morning too, gaining my sense of inner balance and comfort back. I have to do this sometimes when Ronnie and I don't get to talk very often. Ronnie can't yet offer me the kind of comfort that Darik does mainly because Darik lives closer, and I have known him longer. These two things are very important to me. I'll explain more when I do "The Twin Dilemma" Part 5 soon. 

    I was minding my own business when my mom came into my room and said I got a package from StumbleUpon. If any of you aren't familiar with it I suggest you look it up. I have been using their website and stuff for a long time and recently I got to 7k likes on SU. I knew they were going to send me a T-shirt, but I wasn't expecting the other stuff. All the items in the picture above are what I got from them. The T-shirt underneath, 2 pens, stickers, 2 little buttons, 2 mug holders, a mug, ping pong balls, and some sunglasses. I was blown away by their kindness and the fact that they gave me all this cool stuff just for using their website. I do not regret using it now, they are such nice people and have always been so amazing. I don't think they do this for everyone, so I feel kind of special and it totally brightened up my day. I am not used to getting stuff in the mail, let alone gifts of any kind! The T-shirt is awesome and comfortable and fits well, and I am planning on using the mug soon for tea.

    I got 3/4 of the way through the book I am reading. I have only been officially reading it since yesterday. The Hourglass series by Lisa Mangum is truly amazing and it pulls you in so much. Once again I found myself literally becoming one with the story, I felt like I was the main character and I was going through what she was going through. It's amazing just how into it I can get. That is the main reason I slept in so late, is because I was UP late. haha.

    Today has been very calm and uneventful. I watched Aristocats and Pocahontas with my nieces while I was babysitting them earlier. I taught one of them a few yoga poses, we laughed and joked around and it was fun. My sister left out some of the snacks for us to eat while she was out with Ben (ex husband) Christmas shopping.

    My sister made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner when she got home. She is a lot better at making them than I am. After we ate I read some more of my book, surfed some sites using SU, and also did some stuff on Pinterest.

    It has felt like a Saturday today, on occasion through the day I would forget it is actually Thursday. I've been pretty relaxed, calm, and laid back today.  The snow has pretty much melted, but it was another cold day today. Nothing very dramatic happened today, it was quiet and peaceful. I was deep in thought about the past and about friends. I let my emotions stir and turn around inside my head without trying to stop them. During school it was a bit harder to have moments like these because I was so worried about homework and passing my classes.

    I hope tomorrow will bring something interesting. I love twists.

    EDIT: Oh yeah, since it's 12 days until Christmas here is something special I think you guys will like. All the indevidual days are below the main video. :)

    12 Days of Christmas

  • Lost in the Words

          

    I always kept my heart locked away where no one could hurt it. Growing up I was always treated differently and grew up with the notion that no one would ever be able to love me the way I am. I never let myself hope that I would find someone that would love me the way I am. I think this is the sole thing that has always kept me from getting a boyfriend or getting close to anyone. The first few days that I started talking to Ronnie a lot brought me a lot of anxiety. Back then, before I revealed my flaws to him I felt very nervous because I was afraid he would be like a lot of other people and retract from me. For the longest time I have felt like some kind of alien and a misfit that didn’t belong anywhere. I somehow managed to gain enough confidence in him to reveal all the things I am self-conscious about. I knew from the second day we started talking to each other a lot more that he was amazing and that I wanted to hold onto him, so it was extremely hard to put myself out in the open like that. I didn’t want to lose this amazing person that I just found, this person that I talked to so effortlessly and that brought me hours of happiness.

    I can’t even describe the amount of happiness he gave to me when he accepted me the way I am. Suddenly I didn’t feel alone anymore and I had someone I could poor my heart into. I wish I had been able to open up to him a lot sooner. We have known each other for a few years, but we hardly got to talk. He had a girlfriend that wasn’t too fond of people flirting with him. Now my life feels so much more complete. I was missing something big that I have now. I have hope that there are people out there that can love me the way I am. I will probably never completely get rid of my hesitation when it comes to getting close to people, but I won’t be quite as closed as I used to be before I met Ronnie.

    I have been careful not to make his existence known to my family, they are very picky. I don’t intend on ever letting them know about him unless if it can be in person. My family is very protective and picky and I know they wouldn’t approve of him because he isn’t LDS (Mormon). I’m not so worried about it as they probably would be. I believe in the power of fate and I believe that whatever is meant to be will happen. I really have nothing to worry about by loving him. We both have our flaws and we both have stuff to work out in our lives, but I am more than confident that we can make it. Either our lines of fate will cross, or they won’t. Either way I know I will at LEAST be his friend for the rest of my life. I won’t let him fall of my radar so easy. I won’t let something this precious slip out of my fingers. There is no way I will ever let that happen. The only way that would ever happen is if he wanted it. I really hope that will never happen though.

    School finally ended today, I only had two classes left. I was so lazy getting up today, I just lied there in my bed for a half an hour after my alarm went off. I spent my time before school reading some of my new book “The Hourglass Door”, and reading blogs on Xanga. I left for school around noon because my Astronomy class didn’t start until 1pm. I walked around campus for a while and picked up a strawberry shake for the heck of it while I was waiting for class to start. All we had to do was turn in our reflection essays and then we could leave. I quickly turned mine in and then just hung around campus for the next two hours. I explored the school bookstore and got some free popcorn that the ice cream store makes every Wednesday. I sat outside of the classroom I had yoga and Pilates in this semester and just listened to music and played games on my phone while I waited for class to start.

    We had a test in Pilates today, we studied a little, reviewed and then took the test. I got an 88% the test and ended up with an overall 98% (that’s an A) in the class. We ate the teachers home-made chili and ate dessert after we were all done with the test. We hung out and talked until class was over. Class today was around an hour and a half, but it felt much shorter. I hope I can take another class from my instructor sometime, she was fun to have.

    After class was done I decided I wanted to try Rockin Robbie’s cheeseburger. I don’t usually indulge myself NEARLY this much, but it’s the end the the semester so I’ve been having a bit of fun this week trying food at school. I got the cheeseburger combo without the drink (it’s a dollar cheaper). My mom called right after I ordered and told me she was on her way, it was perfect timing. I told her what I was doing and she said she would be there in 5 minutes. I got my order right before she got here. I managed to get to the place where she picked me up a minute before she arrived. I knew RR would live up to it’s reputation once again. I usually loathe fast food burgers with a burning passion, but I knew RR’s would taste better than the others. I enjoyed every bite of that hamburger and the outrageously good fries they have as well.

    I probably won’t be eating out like this for a while, it’s not really my style. I finished my food in the car and my mom and brother and I made a quick stop at some place that sold vitamins, and other health stuff. I am not sure what they were doing there because I was busy looking around, but the place was interesting. It wasn’t quite as interesting as the place my mom works at, but it was still pretty cool.

    We went home right after this. I was glad to be home and went straight downstairs and started working on writing this post. I am always careful about making it so you can never tell I don’t write these all at once. I always make it look like I write it in one sit down. I tend to get impatient when I try to do that, so I avoid it as much as possible. I am quite picky about the way I present my posts.

    I pretty much spent the whole entire evening reading my new book. I am half way through it now, it’s amazing really. I get so into whatever I read I almost become one with the characters. I can feel their emotions. I can understand what they are feeling and why they feel it. I’m so practiced at spinning vivid images in my head and losing myself that burying myself in a book is like second nature. I can very easily become one with the story. Books stir my emotions and calm my thoughts. Sometimes I completely forget about the outside world and my surroundings. Sometimes the emotions that books bring me aren’t good, but I love them just the same. I get so emotionally involved it’s ridiculous sometimes.

    I don’t think I’ve had such a thoughtless night like this in a while. I really should try to find more time for reading this next semester. I am just glad I will have a few weeks of free time during Christmas and New Years vacation where I will be able to demolish some of my reading list.

    Happy 12/12/12 everyone. Once in a lifetime thing. :)

  • Moving Like the Wind

           Someone once told me that every person has a red sting of fate. This string of fate starts at the heart and leads to the heart of the person they are fated to be with. I wonder where my red string of fate leads sometimes. I think I have figured it out, but life is so unpredictable that I have no idea what kind of road it is going to throw me onto sometimes. I have a feeling that someday soon my life is going to find itself on another crazy road, but I know I can make it just fine. I have always been a strong person even if it took me a while to figure this out. I have always thought of myself as a phoenix. I am always reborn from the ashes of defeat no matter what. Every time I rise from those mystical silver ashes I become stronger and stronger. I want to spread my wings with someone else someday. I believe everyone has a soul mate, it’s just some of us don’t know where to look sometimes.

    My attachment to the sky has gotten even stronger as of late. This is probably because Ronnie loves the sky as much as I do. No matter where we might be, no matter how far, the same sky connects us. No one can take this sole fact away from us. He is the moon in the sky and I am the sea. When he is happy I am happy, and when he is sad I always feel like I have to do something in order to fix it. If I had the power I would do so much more for him than I have. If I knew how to live on my own I probably would have moved closer to where he is already. Apart from my family I don’t really have any strong attachment to very many people over here. I know someday I will get the chance to spread my wings, and when that day comes he will be the first person I fly to. I want the question answered, and I want to know if he is the one for sure. I hope fate will allow our strings of fate to cross someday. Knowing that he has been a lot happier lately has really made me feel a lot lighter. I hope he can hold onto his new found happiness and find the right path for himself.

    I feel like I have been a lot more balanced today, both in body and in mind. I noticed it when I went to my yoga class at school for the last time today. We had a two hour class where we went through all the poses in the primary series. We did all the standing poses, the seating poses, and the closing sequence. It took us about an hour and 45 minutes to do everything. When I first came to the class at the beginning of the semester I couldn’t even touch my toes, but now I can put my hands underneath my feet now. I have gotten more fluid and focused and I have mastered the breath we use. I am nowhere near being perfect at the poses in the primary series, but I have improved a lot this semester. It was nice to be able to go through all the poses. We have never got all the way through because the class has always been too short. Usually the class is only an hour, so we have only gotten to do so much every day. I came out of class today feeling very relaxed and energetic. I am going to miss my class, but my teacher teaches at a studio somewhere near here, so I am probably going to get a membership at the studio he teaches at some time soon.

    My morning was normal, I just hung out and did my usual, got dressed for yoga, listened to music, read a little, watched some anime. I had 3 tangerines for breakfast. You aren’t supposed to eat very much, if at all before yoga usually. I get carsick on a completely empty stomach though, so I had to eat at least that much. I have an incurable addiction to tangerines. I went an hour early to school and just walked around campus before yoga. I didn’t want to get thirsty during class, so I walked to the school store and bought a Sobe Lifewater. I walked to my yoga class right after this. I always like to be early for yoga so I can get a good spot. I put everything I brought except for my jacket and my purse outside the door of the classroom, grabbed a mat and went in. I carefully wiped off my mat with a Clorox wipe, wrapped my purse in my jacket, and then did some stretches and waited for class to start.

    After class I was starving, so I decided to go out to eat. There is this place called “Rocking Robbie’s” on campus that I have taken a liking to. Today was only the second time I have gotten food there. I can’t believe what I have been missing by not eating there. Last time I went there last Friday it was the first time I went there. I had no idea what to expect, but the food sounded good. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich combo with a strawberry shake last time, and this time I ordered the crispy chicken combo but I didn’t get a shake this time.

    They always take a few minutes to prepare your food and it always looks and tastes good. Their shakes are made fresh and have big slices of fruit in them, and they always taste great. I have been to a lot of fast food places, but this one is probably the best one I’ve been to so far. I am not very big on fast food, so this is really saying a lot.

    Anyway, today was much like yesterday. My parents had another tabernacle choir rehearsal and I just chilled at home and watched anime and made the best of my time. I am going to have to pick up my book again later sometime, it is getting interesting. In high school I was pretty famous for always carrying a book with me. I love to read a lot, and I think I haven’t been reading nearly as much as I should lately. I have a nice long list of books that I need to read and I intend to finish it off.

    I went upstairs today and my sister was watching Star Trek again, it is a pretty common thing here for me to go upstairs and find it on all the time. I grew up watching Star Trek, I am also a big fan of it. I have to admit I still need to watch the original one. I miss the days when Star Trek was on, it was always such a big thing for my family. We never seem to get bored of Star Trek.

    I know one of these days I’m going to need to do something other than just sitting around and watching anime and reading, but for now it’s nice.

  • The Sandman

         I can’t believe it’s the last week of school already. My time has always flown by too fast. I think father time must be getting impatient. That or he knows my life is complicated so he tries to speed it up so I don’t get frustrated. I know if father time was real, we would get along just fine. I wonder how he and the sand man would get along, funny thought. In a way you could call God father time I guess. I believe in God, so I guess he can play the part better than anyone else could.

    I’ve always pictured fictional characters inside my head, it’s a regular thing for me. If the sandman really existed I think he would live in some mysterious candle lit castle in the clouds. The castle would be made of dark glittering stone, and the towers would reach high and greet the stars. It would be on a hovering stand-alone island. The castle would be surrounded by trees and beautiful gardens and he would have his own servants and maids that took care of everything. The grounds would also have various statues in the form of different mythical and historical figures, and they would all be made of white marble. There would be a large mysterious room somewhere in the castle with lots of containers, pots, and other stuff you would find in a laboratory and a kitchen where he would make his mysterious sleeping sand. He would be quiet, but kind and calm and very mysterious like the whispering breeze.

    My day has been pretty calm. As my radio alarm clock went off and I started coming back from the land of the dreamers Ronnie was the first thing I thought about before I opened my eyes. I’ve had other people that have had my waking thoughts throughout my life, but none of them ever gave me the amount of comfort that he does. He takes up so much of my heart now it’s terrifying, but yet exciting. Even if fate decides to be cruel and separate us for real I will probably love him for the rest of my life and will definitely never forget him. It’s strange, even though we have decided to not be in a serious relationship right now, just the fact that he cared enough to let go makes me love him even more. The fact that he was able to end it just proves how much he really cares about me and that gives me the best feeling In the world. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone that has ever cared about me like this before. Its amazing how much you can care about someone who is so far away from you. Just another piece of evidence that proves time and space have no effect on love if you want it to stay the way it is.

    It’s been a long time since I have been able to put so much thought into one person like this. My thoughts were so lonely, as was my heart for the longest time. I am so glad I have found someone I can talk to about anything and feel close to. We understand each other so well it’s scary sometimes. I don’t regret even a second I have spent talking to him. He has earned a special place in my heart that no one is ever going to usurp. Thinking about him in the morning gives me a strange satisfaction and makes my day worth living so much more. Every day when I walk through the halls of the University, or go outside, or do anything I have a wish in the center of my heart that our paths will cross and our fates will inter twine someday. I will never deprive my heart of this hope, I will let it burn like a raging fire.

    I feel lighter, everything about my life feels lighter now that I have him. We don’t need to be in a relationship to make me feel this way. I am like a breeze that silently moves from place to place. I feel free, natural, open and happy. Everything comes so naturally to me when we talk. I am pretty sure he feels the same way.

    As I got out of bed and turned off my alarm clock everything went silent. I turned on my light and walked back over to my laptop that sits on its table beside my bed on the floor. I slowly opened it up and went through my usual morning business where I listen to music, and print off stuff for school if I need to. Today I listened to some music by Nana Mizuki and printed off my final essay for my Astronomy class. I didn’t have as much time to listen to music or do whatever then I usually do. English started an hour earlier, so I only had an hour of free time before I had to leave.

    I walked upstairs slowly, my head still drowning in my waking thoughts and was greeted be the sight of a fluffy thin layer of white show on the ground outside. I like to think of snow as clouds that get bored, so they decide to fall from the sky and say hello and just repeat the cycle of falling from and returning to the sky. It’s a silly thought, but I have fun with it. I had Coco Krispies for breakfast and just sat there at the table gazing out at the snow while eating them.

    I went back downstairs and made sure all my English assignments were in the folder I put them in so I could turn them in today. I found my jeans, and my black T-shirt with the faded Micky Mouse design on it and got dressed. I decided I wanted to leave my hair down today, but I didn’t want it to get stringy before I went to school so I kept it back in a headband until right before I left.

    I got my stuff together and unplugged my phone from it’s charger. I had got the battery all the way down to 6% the night before. Sometimes I just don’t feel like sleeping, so I just stay up watching stuff on Netflix. I put my black boots on and pulled the bottom of my jeans over them and walked out to the car. We decided to take our new car today. It was freezing outside, I had my black jacket with the peacock design on and I wore my soft white fleece hat to keep my hair from getting wet. We got in the car, put our seat belts on and tried to start the car, but it wouldn’t start. We gave up after a few tries and decided to take the other car because I was going to be late if we didn’t. It was just lightly snowing the whole time we were driving. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the University campus, but for some reason today it felt much longer than that. I felt anxious and kind of impatient today for some reason and was glad to get out of the car when we got there. I quickly ran into the school and walked to class.

    When I got to the classroom my teacher wasn’t there, but everyone else was. I was a little late, but it didn’t really matter because we weren’t really doing anything today anyway. We all just sat there and did our own thing waiting for the professor to come, but the clock just kept ticking by and she never showed up. A Japanese woman finally walked into the room after about 30 minutes and told us that she could not be here today for personal reasons. We all turned in our English portfolios to her instead and just started doing our own thing. We were supposed to be having a party today, so we brought food. We just hung out for the class period, talked and ate food.

    People brought chips, soda, chocolates, popcorn, cookies, cake, salsa and some other stuff. We all had a good time just hanging out talking about random stuff and about our assignments that we had. We took photos before some of us started to leave. The class today was two hours long instead of one. I didn’t talk very much. I just listened to other people talk and ate. I said goodbye to everyone before I left, I only stayed half of the class period.

    I walked along the hallways thinking about the snow and wondering what the weather was like where Ronnie lives. I always go into this weird dazed like state between classes where I just walk and think and don’t pay attention to the surroundings around me more than I need to. I am a daydreamer and sometimes I majorly zone out, it’s so like me to do that.

    I walked to the school book store and bought the hourglass series by Lisa Mangum. I have wanted to read her series for a long time. There are three books, they are called The Hourglass Door, The Golden Spiral, and the Forgotten Locket. It cost me around $25 to buy all 3 at the same time. After I got done at the book store I walked to my Astronomy class, took out the first book, and began reading it in the hallway. I was 45 minutes early, so this is how I passed my time. I just read a few pages in, very carefully so I got the main feeling of the book. I have a feeling I am really going to enjoy this series a lot.

    I thought my Astronomy final was today for some reason. I figured out that I was wrong when I saw a completely different class was going into the planetarium after I went in. I just sat there and tried to figure out when my final was, I was feeling confused right about then. I very quietly went up to the professor that was in the room and asked him where I should go to find out what day my final was on. I found out it’s not until Wednesday. I felt very relieved that I did not miss it.

    I decided I was not ready to leave quite yet, so I just walked around campus and watched all the people as they walked by. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get something or fun even though I ate in English. After walking around for a while I decided that it would be a waste of money for me to eat on campus today. I saw a vending machine nearby though, and I decided that I could spend a dollar on a drink. I usually do not drink soda that often, but I figured I could make an exception today. I opened my cherry 7up and walked to the library. I am really glad I don’t have to stress about papers and other assignments for a while now. I sat down at my usual spot at the 1st floor of the library, plugged my ear buds into my iPhone and started watching some documentary about Star Trek fans that caught my eye on my phone. It’s nice to have something I can pass the time with while I wait for my mom or sister to come and get me.  

    I gazed out at the snow through the big windows in the library and just watched as the little flakes landed on the ground. I decided after a few minutes of watching the Star Trek documentary that I would wait until later to watch it. I just sat there and let myself fall deep into my daydreams while I was waiting.

    My mom got to the school 30 minutes after I called her. I am not particularly picky about what time I am picked up. I got in the car and we drove home. The windshield wipers on our new car made a loud squeaking noise every time they slid across the glass, it got kind of annoying after a while. We didn’t really talk about anything while we were driving home, this is usually normal for us when we are in the car. I slightly dozed off and let myself drift between the waking world and the dream world. I felt so light, but yet heavy in a strange sort of way in that moment.

    When we got home I kicked off my boots, and went downstairs back to my sanctuary. I watched anime and just hung out in my room for most of the rest of the day. I was feeling kind of moody today in the afternoon after I got home, not in a bad way though. I think I might have just been a little over stimulated. I get that way when I am around a lot of people sometimes. My mind just starts to race and my emotions come alive and they try to fly around everywhere, but I can usually keep them in control. I usually watch something dramatic, or listen to quiet music depending on how I feel. Today I watched an anime called “Nana”. Nana is one of my favorite anime of all time. It’s cute, dramatic, romantic, and it makes your head spin sometimes. It’s about music, love, life, it’s just plane amazing. I hope they continue the series where they left off someday, I won’t hold my breath though.

    I was so glad I did not have anything else to do today that I did the thing I usually do when I don’t want to do anything, but don’t want to just sit in silence and stare at the wall or the ceiling. I like to just put on music and look at pictures of things or people I like, it’s very relaxing and it frees my mind a lot. I actually do this quite often when I am feeling stressed, and In the mornings when I need to recharge my inner battery. I look at different pictures, and listen to different music depending on what kind of mood I am in.

    I crashed for a few hours after school, and slept like the dead. I had started watching the Star Trek documentary again, but started to fall asleep, so I turned it off again and ended up surrendering to the dream world once again.

    My mom made minestrone for dinner tonight, she makes really super great minestrone, it really is the best soup ever. I say that about everything she cooks though honestly, it’s all amazing. Haha. It was really nice to wake up to her cooking after a nap. I was pretty hungry, I hadn’t eaten for probably 5 or so hours.

    My sister and my nieces put the ornaments on the Christmas tree sometime after my parents left for tabernacle choir practice. I was busy doing my own thing in my own world, I didn’t pay all that much attention to them. I looked at the tree once or twice when they were doing it, but I was so glad to be finally over with all my school work for this semester that I just wanted to relax and keep to myself today.

    I grabbed a couple handfuls of pistachios out of the bag on the counter and brought them downstairs with me one of the times I went upstairs to look at the tree. My family is pretty addicted to those things, we all love to eat them. It’s pretty insane how fast we go through them sometimes. I guess you could say we are all a bunch of nut heads. Haha.

    Nothing other than this happened that is worth noting, not that I remember anyway. I stalked Ronnie’s profile on facebook for a few minutes earlier when I got bored, he always posts interesting stuff. I don’t think I’ve shared anything that interesting lately on mine, mainly due to school. I should get around to it sometime soon though. It’s usually so normal for me.