I have church early in the morning around 9:30am, so sometimes I don't feel like waking up. I usually just got to a different ward in one of the nearby church buildings by my house. My ward is a ways away close to the University I attend, so that is why I usually can't just walk. I attend a singles ward that is populated primarily by unmarried people around my age. The ward I attend when I miss this ward is actually the one I grew up in, it was my home ward up until a few years ago when they changed the boundaries of the wards and stuff. I don't really like going to my home ward because I started going to the singles ward before they changed it so it's super weird for me to go to my actual home ward because it is in a different building with different people. There are some people I know, but not as many as i would like.

I have been feeling weird and more distant with the singles ward as of late. I feel detached from everyone and like they don't even notice I'm there. I usually have to find a ride every Sunday if I go and this can sometimes be annoying. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bother to the people I get rides from. I don't really enjoy getting rides from people all that much, a lot of the time it is super awkward for me because I am not that social of a person. I am probably going to be leaving the ward in a few months depending on how I feel after I clear up a few things that are personal. After I clear up these personal things and get my life more straightened out I might change my mind, but for now I feel like leaving. I don't really like attending my home ward as I stated above, but sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to I guess. I don't know if I will adjust, but I hope I do.

I was attending church today in my substitute ward when I had to make a trip to the restroom. I was blowing my nose when I was in there and suddenly I see blood on the toilet paper. Naturally I had one of those "Oh crud" moments and immediately plugged my nose with some of that toilet paper. It was pretty bad, but it didn't last long to my surprise. I did manage to drip blood down my shirt when I was changing the toilet paper inside my nose though. Lucky for me I was wearing a black shirt though, so none of it showed. I always feel fatigued, panicky and drained after I have a nose bleed like that so I decided I was going to go home after sacrament meeting and not stay for all 3 hours. I made sure my face didn't have any blood on it before I left the restroom and sat down until sacrament meeting was over. It was a nice sunny morning here, so the walk back and borth was pretty pleasant. I will have to get pictures for you one of these days. I was glad when I got home though. I was sleepy and just wanted to take a nap.

I ate some pistachios and hung around the house seeing what everyone was doing. I watched an episode of "Kickin It" on my phone while I lied down and I fell asleep right after it and got a good 2 and a half hours of sleep. It felt like I slept longer, but I really didn't and I felt all recharged and ready to face the rest of the day when I woke up.

I really didn't do much after church to be honest, just played games on my phone and watched anime. I have been trying to catch up with the Detective Conan anime. I still have a long way to go seeing as the anime is in the 700's now and I'm only on episode 210 or something like that. I find the anime interesting and it is my favorite show though, so I don't mind at all. I'm really in no hurry to catch up at all. I enjoy taking mysteries in. Detective Conan is a murder mystery anime with a lot of characters, plots, twists and turns. I would recommend ti to anyone easily.

besides watching anime I listened to music and had beans and rice for dinner. My mom made it a bit different this time. She put more than one kind of beans in the post, tomatoes, celery and some other stuff and made it more like a soup. It was okay, it wasn't my favorite but I liked it enough to eat it. We usually make the same things over and over again over here, so I wasn't surprised we had this for dinner. Most of us are pretty busy so we aren't super fancy and we rarely ever eat together at all. I didn't really finish my dinner because I put to much in my bowl, but that was okay I guess.

My sister made a little bit of pudding afterward and I had that and a glass of English toffee flavored milk for dessert.

Anyway, that was my day today. I have a lot more to tell, but for now I will cut off here.

I am the kind of person that likes a lot of freedom and space to do my thing. I am the kind of person that would love living on my own and doing my own thing. This part of me sometimes causes me a lot of anxiety because right now I lack a lot of life skills that a lot of people have usually by my age. This fact has been causing me a lot of grief for a while, I don’t know how to get around on my own, or even do simple things like do my own laundry and my cooking skills are mediocre at best. Never in my dreams would I have guessed I would be thrown the unexpected curve ball I was thrown today at my appointment with my vocational rehab councilor.

When I left for her office I was just planning on telling her the price of my books, my tuition, what classes I’m taking so she could pay for my tuition, but I got something even better. Around May sometime next year I’m going to be given a chance to live in an apartment with another girl and there will be some other people as well living in different apartments nearby that will be learning lifeskills besides me and my roommate. They are going to teach me how to do stuff like get around on my own, cooking, doing laundry and probably a lot more things. All the people that are going to go through  this will have visual impairments as well. To say I was happy when I got this chance is an understatement. For a while I have been feeling like I really need to get out, like I need to be on my own and learn. I have been praying that God would help me get through my hard times. Today I had no doubt that this is an answer to my prayers. I know that it isn’t going to be easy, but I really need this and I know it is right. A lot of my family and people around me aren’t going to be able to see me for six months starting next May, but this is something I desperately need. I really give God credit for what happened today, I wasn’t expecting this at all. I not only get to do this, but my vocational rehab councilor is also getting me a bus pass that will last for a year. Words cannot even describe how good I am feeling right now. I finally get my wish and get to learn a lot of stuff I’ve been learning for a long time.

I could have chosen to go this year, but I want to get prepared a little more, get in better shape, get mentally prepared, etc. I also want to do two more semesters of college before I go through with this. God is good, and he knows just what I need, that is for sure.

I was supposed to see my vocational rehab councilor a week ago, but I missed the appointment twice. This was my third time making the appointment and I made it this time. I was worried for a few days that I wouldn’t get to go because I was waiting for my financial aid results and I had to take a math test and get the list of books and all this stuff. I had blanked out making the appointment earlier in the summer. I am glad I did it just in time. I am taking English and History and decided to skip out on math the last second because I’m sure I’ll get enough challenge.

I’ve been through a lot of stuff this summer and this year in general, but for now I just want to tell you about this. There will be plenty of time for stories of the past later. It is a beautiful day today and things are looking up and I feel so good now. With all the drama with friends and with the Xanga site relaunch I have been feeling a bit fried lately, but I am back to life now and ready for a new semester at school!

I’ll write more later. I have so much I haven’t said.

For those of you who are leaving Xanga and still want to read my blog or keep in contact with me somewhere else. Here is all my basic contact info. I will be staying here, but I also blog in other places.

Blogger blog: liahna.com  (I leave some stuff out of this one because my friends and family IRL read it and there are a few things I would rather leave out)

2nd Blogger Exact blog replica of this one. empathic-heart-xanga.blogspot.com/   No edits at all

WordPress blog  http://staryaofficial.wordpress.com/  Another exact replica of this blog.

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/starya

Secondary contact email for online friends and gaming friends: liahna@ymail.com

Secondary facebook for online and gaming friends: https://www.facebook.com/lilly.starya.wind

YouTube: Staryaofficial (gaming channel) & Starryillusion (main channel)

Deviantart: Kalystia

Tetrisfriends.com: Starya