September 19, 2011

  • When Words Fail

     

     

    So just like I planned I wore red and white to church today to Celebrate the Utes victory yesterday. I slept sooo good yesterday night, though I did wake up an hour earlier than I planned (6am) and I couldn't go back to sleep so I just listened to Pandora for an hour before my alarm went off and my day officially started.

     I always wake up at 7am on Sundays so I have enough time to wash my hair, eat breakfast, put on a (little) bit of makeup, get dressed, and get my stuff together for church. This is how every Sunday usually goes in the morning for me. I'm actually pretty much ready by 8:30am. I use the rest of my free time in the morning to listen to music, read, or play games to wake myself up completely. I'm not much of a morning person and never have been. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to wake up in the mornings when I was in Junior high and High school as well.

     I had a bit of hair trouble today. I have a fringe (bangs) again and I haven't quite perfected the art of styling them right. Today I had a lot of trouble with them, they wanted to stick out in the front for some reason, I seem to have this problem a lot when it comes to my fringe. I eventually got them to cooperate with the help of my blow dryer and brush after a while. I think they kind of looked like a mes today but I guess they were okay. 

     Anyway, after I get ready and get my stuff together I usually find a ride to church. Today I went with my friend Erin. I usually end up going with Tiffany, Erin, or a few others that I can't remember right now. Erin came to pick me up sometime after 9am, I grabbed a few pieces of my peppermint gum, put them in my pocket and then went out the door.

     I wore a white shirt with my red jacket, silver and red bracelets, my nails were painted red, I had a white butterfly clip in my hair and another red clip, I had my hair pulled back in a ponytail with 2 red hair bands, and my hair is also red so it worked out nicely.

     Some time while I was in the car with Erin my peppermint bug fell out of my pocket, this was a real loss for me since I like to have the best breath at church that I can. Lucky for me Erin had some gum, and when we got to church and sat down in the chapel near the front she gave me a piece.

     I didn't even bother to look for Darik and Dylan for some reason, I usually do this. Even when I don't go looking for them I can usually find them, this did not happen today though. Sacrament meeting was pretty good, I actually stayed awake during the whole thing today. I am not so good about that sometimes honestly.

     After Sacrament meeting ended I went straight to class without even bothering to look around or talking to people. Honestly, I felt kind of disappointed at this point because I thought Darik and Dylan weren't there so it was just another week of me hoping they would be there when they ended up not showing up again. I don't know why I let my hopes up so many times the past few weeks, it was kind of dumb. I texted Dylan sometime before class and asked him if he wasn't going to come to the singles ward anymore. I was kind of fighting the urge to give into my disappointment at this point in time and just doing that helped. I really wanted to know.

     Anyway, the lesson was pretty great, it had to do with the savior... I can't remember the details but it was a good lesson. My mind started to get a little noisy towards the end plus my mind started to wander a little and I started thinking about Darik and Dylan again. I started to feel a bit restless with all the stuff going through my head so I decided to leave the classroom and go walk around. It's strange, my mind has this mechanism that turns on when I start getting stressed or sad, or when my mind gets to noisy. I start thinking about someone that makes me really happy automatically. This time it was both Darik and Dylan obviously. Sometimes it's Sam, and sometimes it's someone else, but that switch just turns on automatically when I start getting stressed. It really comes in handy sometimes.

     I walked around the church for a while trying to quiet my mind down. I eventually came to the foyer and sat on a couch, my mind was starting to quiet down. I pulled out my phone and saw I got a text from Dylan. apparently him and Darik had been at church the whole time today and I just didn't notice them. This made my mood a lot brighter instantly, it's funny how that happens a lot when I know they are around or when they talk to me. It's been like this for as long as I've known them.

     My mind was still kind of busy at this point but I was in a better mood. Class had just ended when I started walking back. On my way back to the classroom I ran into Dylan who was talking to some other people. If you had seen me I probably wouldn't have looked as excited outwardly as I felt internally. I kind of was a bit anti- climactic to be honest. All I could manage was an uncharacteristically high pitched "hey", that I think sounded really lame, a "I'm glad your back", an "I missed you guys a lot", and a "how are you?'. **face palm**. I'm not to good with sugary, enthusiastic greetings when it comes to people I haven't seen for more than 4 months, It's kind of awkward for me to show that kind of emotion, especially when I really like the person, and when they are a guy it's extra awkward.

     He commented on the colors I was wearing and asked me if it was for the Utah Utes game. I confirmed that I was wearing the color because we won the game yesterday and confirmed that I was a fan of the Utes. I was kind of laughing a little too while I said it. I thought that I might feel a little guilty if they ever found out I was a Utes fan, but I wasn't sorry at all. They are BYU fans.

     I couldn't think up anything else to say, I just stood there listening to his conversation with someone else. I usually don't feel really weird doing this anymore, I do it all the time. We walked to the chapel, I didn't feel like leaving him, I was really glad to see him today so I just kind of followed him around sort of. It wasn't really like following him around actually, I was just waiting for him and Darik to pick a seat in the chapel. I didn't want to sit alone, that is why I usually do this most of the time.

     Sometime before the 3rd part of church started, before they found their seats I finally got to see Darik. I can't even tell you how happy I was to see him. I don't think I expressed it very well, but he gave me a  hug and this made me really happy. I was really freaking out inside the whole time. I was speechless just like I was with Dylan, this actually kind of bothered me but it was okay. I wasn't expecting to see them today so I was kind of in shock a little.

     Anyway, so I just kind pretended to be looking around for a seat, and then followed them when they went to sit down. I sat in a pew behind them. We did a combined meeting between relief Society and priesthood today for 3rd hour.  I didn't pay much attention to them during the 3rd hour, the lesson was pretty interesting. They were answering questions today that people wanted to know about the church. I glanced at them a few times, but nothing more than that. I was in a really good mood by now, and my mind had quieted down.

     After church was over, I just kind of stuck around the church for a few minutes. Erin was doing something else too, so it worked out pretty good. I hung around Darik and Dylan for a while before they left. I couldn't think of anything to say to Darik, I had so many openings to talk to him today but I had one of my duh moments, actually more than one. We eventually said goodbye to each other and parted our ways. I went and found Erin after this and we left as well.

     The rest of my day was pretty normal. I spent some time on Destiny Online, I played some tetris, I took a nap, and I watched an anime called "Pollyanna Girl of Love". I have been working on that anime since yesterday night.

     We made home made bread, we seem to be doing that a lot lately. I love home made bread a lot so it's nice to have it more. My mom made home made chicken noodle soup as well, it was great. I ate 2 bowls of it. My dad picked a ton of grapes, he gave some to my brother to take home, we still have a lot of them to eat though. I can't wait until the purple ones ripen, they take a bit longer than the green and red ones. I love purple grapes the most, they are amazing.

     Anyway, I guess that is all for today, this turned out to be a bit longer than I expected. I guess that is okay though, at least I had a lot to tell today. I hope this week is more interesting than the last one.