April 14, 2011

• Theory

  It's funny what kind of things can appear in your dreams.  I dream about things like breathing under water, sky diving, strange lands made of really random objects that are just lying around in real life that have absolutely nothing to do with architecture, mythical creatures, and most of all friends. The thing that gets to me, the reason why I am writing about this today is that I feel like I need to write out a theory I have about my dreams. For the past 8 or 9 years I have been having dreams where Darik appears just randomly out of nowhere. Darik has been in my dreams for so long I never even think of it now usually but I thought that I should at least think about it once. I have come up with a few thoughts about this.

  Well, some of you know I don't really have a crush on Darik or have those kind of romantic feelings towards him. Darik is however an important person to me. My first theory has to do with this. I kind of see him as somewhat of a role model, someone to look up to, I always have in some kind of way. I have always thought he is amazing in a lot of ways. I had a crush on Darik on top of this for a long time so I think that those two trains of thought just caused my sub conscious to put him in my dreams so often. I don't look up to very many other people, or like very many other people as much as I like him. My sub conscious always puts people in my dreams that I either think about, or sometimes people that I have strong feelings for.  So my firs theory is that I dream about him just mainly because he has been such a prominent figure in my life for so long, half of it to be exact. My subconscious decided to just randomly, but often put him in my dreams for this fact. Darik kind of has a unique position in my heart, and in my life in general. Meeting Darik changed me in a lot of ways, and you just don't forget something like that.  I do think about him sometimes, I guess that could be another reason.  The impact he has had on my life, I don't really know how to summon it up in words, but i'm pretty sure that is the reason I dream about hm so often, because he has had such a huge impact on my life. My feelings for him are very strong, and I know this both sub consciously and consciously, this could be the cause.

  I had a crush on Darik for a long time, my feelings were starting to get stronger though 8 years ago. I decided that it was probably better if I supress my feelings or make them go away somehow. I was starting to like other people and I didn't want my feelings for him to get in the way, they were kind of beginning to make things weird with us, so I decided that since I was starting to be interested in other people I would force myself to get over him. I did succeed for the most part. I am pretty sure my feelings for him are still there, somewhere locked behind an iron door where they won't ever get out. My feelings for him, if they ever did come back I know they would be a lot more mature than they were last time I let them roam free. My second theory is about this. I have a theory that somewhere in my deep sub conscious I really do have feelings for him and they are causing me to dream about him. I don't think this is as probable as the first theory though. Even if I did still have feelings for him I doubt they would be strong enough, prominent enough to ignite such a reaction in my sub conscious.  I don't know though since if I do have sub conscious feelings for him they might have evolved to a strong level, my heart sometimes does that with certain feelings sometimes. If i have a dormant feeling or though sometimes it just becomes stronger, and then eventually lets loose. I don't think this is the scenario in this case though. It is more probable that my first theory is the right one.

  these are my main two theories on this. I will most likely end up thinking about this more in the future though since it is really interesting to me how my brain works. Sometimes my brain does strange things.

  I'm glad I got these thoughts out.

  • 3:54 PM
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